"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

An odd 24 hours
October 14, 2009 - 10:01 pm

Pure chance, as there's only so many months.. or something to do with the coming cold?

I'll never know.

I'm left to marvel at myself for the past 24 hours happenings.

Last night, I had the worst time falling asleep. I tossed. I turned. I laid this way and that. Finally, I feel to sleep and my dreams were most bizarre. My dreams were no doubt heavily influenced by The Wire -- not with drugs and such, but with something to do with school. I can't recall any detail now.. well, other than it was most odd and school was involved. Quite vivid to me at the time and more's the pity I didn't take to write out the dream when I awoke as I thought to do.

As I have each day this week, I went to the gym. I don't pretend to get much accomplished with my going as I'm there for perhaps 30 minutes. No, my intention is to build the habit of going... not so much the length of time being there.

Next I dressed myself in fancy garb, complete with tie and headed off to a job fair. It's been ages since I felt such a loser. Standing in the lobby of the hotel with a mismash of other job seekers. Some in suits, some in jeans. Perhaps 50 of us milled about in the lobby until it was time for the event to start. The lady running the show said she'd send in groups of 5 or so... and I frowned.

What the fuck? Five job seekers at a time to go back to the room with the companies?

I couldn't recall what companies were going to be there, but five (or so) of us at a time seemed odd.. but the other option seemed to be all 50 at once and I could see the downside to hoard at once. I figured it was just to avoid this rush and that it would only be for a short time.

I went through in perhaps the fifth group -- more people had entered the lobby by now.. and even cameraman was there to film things.

I'm quite pleased with myself I didn't cry aloud or turn and leave as I entered the job fair room... for a room was truly what it was. No big gathering space at all... for only five tables with companies were setup.

The lady running this farce had said to leave a copy of your resume so she could share it with the companies who could not attend... and now I was seeing why.

What sort of "fair" has five prospective employers in attendance?

Not a single one there of any interest to me.

Anyway.

Upon returning home, I did a little errand here and there, but mostly killing time. I excel at killing time. I revel in it. Or something to that effect.

Come 6, I settle down to watch the shows I recorded last night and then to watch the next disc of Deadwood.

Oddities continue...

My phone rings no less than three times -- I don't average three rings a week, let alone three in one night.

The first.. perhaps I need to adjust my thinking and say I do have a friend. A call to ask how I was doing.. any luck finding a job, etc.

The second.. at perhaps 7, was a guy about a resume I'd submitted. A sort of odd conversation. I guess I passed the 'test' because he said he's send me a link so I could watch a video to learn about the company. The job posting hadn't had much information and I'm at a loss as to why I applied. I suppose it's my shotgun approach.

The third.. at perhaps 8:30 was another prospective employer. This one has potential and yet.. I must shake my head at myself. As much as I blather on about relating to people, the only jobs I seem interested in are insurance jobs -- which means dealing directly with people. Still, relating to people on business terms I don't mind at all. The prospect of selling a few product lines has appeal. The prospect of working on my own appeals. The prospect of being my own boss appeals. The prospect of an uneven income based on what I can sell... scares the shit out of me.

Still... one thing I've always noticed (but never understood) is that I come off as credible when I talk. I'm good at mirroring people and adjusting what I'm saying to fit the audience. All my years of acting...

The added bonus is that I already have on license and I could easily get other ones. I think I'll look into that tomorrow. Why not drop a few hundred to get a license.. even if I may not need it?

Perhaps not that odd in your terms, but all of this has been an eventful period in my tepid life.