"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

A weak analogy
October 13, 2009 - 9:28 am

To use a weak analogy, it's like I'm Sheldon (but 1/10th as smart) from The Big Bang Theory... I simply don't get or correctly process various social cues. In most business-like settings, I operate quite fine.. but it's in my own social life that I'm incapable acting correcting.... or something like that.

At times I can see myself fucking something up - sort of like watching a movie where you know the ending, but are powerless to change the coming events. All that's to be done is hope and pray I'm wrong and that I'll be pleasantly surprised... but it's a movie, the endings don't change.

No doubt a huge factor is that I'm so out of practice in non-work social interactions. I simply can't act the right way.. because I need more practice. I simply don't know the lines as well as I should.

I know, a laughable thing for a person of my age to say.. but you forget... out of the last 10 years, only 2 (grad school) were spent with any degree of regular social interaction. My norm is much, much more to come home from work and not talk with anyone. Sure, a random event now and then... but nothing even remotely on a daily basis.

All the excuses leap up.. too many movies, too private a person.. etc, etc.

The fact remains, I simply never put in the effort to fix things.

Now.. whenever I try, things go horribly, horribly wrong.