"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

first, do no harm
October 19, 2006 - 6:33 pm

anyway. i'm back.. and.. earlier today was literally shaking with anger - rage. something i can't recall the last time happened to me. i'm a pretty lazy person.. sure prone to an outburst now and then, but that's pretty normal. this was so mad i couldn't quite talk just right mad.

here's the deal.. i had a 1:45 doc's appointment that was very much looking forward too.. yeah, i know.. who looks forward to an annual physical.. well, i was because i'd gotten myself into the mindset that i'm going to do X, Y and Z.. and the fist step of things was seeing the doc.

so i get there at 1:30, nice and early to fill out my first time paperwork. i've got a print out that highlight some of the stuff i want to take care of.. i'm feeling all good and proactive.

1:45 comes.. and no call back. not a big deal, since when are doc's on time?

1:50.. nothing.

1:55.. nothing.

2:00.. nothing.

2:10.. nothing

now, the front lady has called back twice that i'm here (i can hear the pa system) and i saw a nurse pick up my file around 2.. so i'm thinking, what's the deal and starting to get annoyed.

2:15 comes around, a good half hour after my schedule time and i'm called back. the nurse takes my height, weight and pulse.. and leaves, telling me to get to my skivvies for the doc.

now.. i'm actaully really annoyed by this because the intro paperwork i did didn't ask any history questions. she didn't take my blood pressure.. and she didn't do the history stuff. i've never known a doc to do either of those, but i console myself that he must the proactive sort.

2:20.. nothing.

the room is cool, the window is partially open.. i start to really frown.

2:25.. nothing.

now i'm thinking, what the fuck? if i came in this late they'd laugh at me and tell me to come back another day. keep in mind, this is shortly after lunch.. how many appointments do you think the doc had between lunch and 1:45 -- one, perhaps 2.. and he's now 40 minutes behind? he's now 40 minutes into my one hour physical. just how long am i going to be gone from work? i've shit to do.. calls to be on and whatnot.

i don't even pretend to sound arrogant or anything.. but a scheduled time is a schedule time.. and i've got other things on my plate to do. i set aside x amount of time for the doc.. and 40 minutes (more if you add in that i was early, like a good little newbie patient) day/life has been pissed away.

i decide if no one comes in by 2:30 i'm leaving. i think waiting 45 minutes is more than long enough. besides, just what kind of attention am going to get as he hussles to get back on track?

2:30.. nothing. really pissed and hoping the doc walks in i start to get dressed. i go about it slowly... i'm actaully wanting the doc to walk in on me. he doesn't. i open the door, the whole back area is totally empty. not a nurse or doc in sight. i go up front and the admit lady gives me a funny look.

i realize.. my face must be red. i'm madder than i thought i was. i nearly stammer that i think the doc forgot about me. she gets a nervous looks and tells me to come over to a side of her desk -- out of the waiting room where other patients sit.

she's very apologetic.. she knows i've been here for an hour. she says that's just this doc, sometimes he gets behind. i know it's nothing to do with her and i'm not really mean/rude to her.. but i do say it's flat out unacceptable and ask how many appointments he's had post-lunch. she declines to answer.. i know it's i'm probably the second -- perhaps even his first. she offers to reschedule.. for whatever reason i agree and say with another doc. she acatully asks, you don't want to see him again? i've never seen him at all, but i don't say that.. i just say no.

i didn't get why i was so pissed then.. but now i do, and kinda hinted at it at the start. i'd set high expectations for this meeting.. for this physical and the fucker didn't even show up.

i get back to the office and look at the appointment card. it's one of those multi-site, multi-doc deals. i know there's a lead doc and i'm feeling the itch to cause this guy some annoynce like he's done to me. i call a different location and ask for the lead doc. the lady is confused and wary. she won't really tell me anything until i say why i want to know. so i tell her.. i want to file a complaint about a doc and i'd like to speak to the proper person. she totally doesn't want to be on the call with me now.. but gives me a name. i say i'll hold. she's confused by this -- silly me actaully thinks a doc will take a call. i end up leaving my name and number.

the head-doc calls.. i run through things in pretty haphazard fashion. i'm not really pissed any more. i'm disappointed. i'm angry. he does a decent job of admitting this just isn't right.. but offers up sometimes things go wrong with docs and they get sucked into this or that. i say, i'm fine with that, but let's face it.. 45 minutes late for an hour appointment and no one can give me the headsup? it's not worth knocking on the door and saying it's going to be x-long before he can see you.. would you like to reschedule? his nurse couldn't have met me in the waiting room and given me the choice?

i mean.. this is basic common curtesey.. this is basic customer service. i am the doc's client. really i am. what do you do when someone is late 45 minutes late with no call or notice?

anyway.. he says he'll look into it.. and i almost think he will. if he's the head doc he will. if he puts together who i work for i think he will.

anyway.. i think, by chance, the doc i'm rescheduled with is the head doc. they, at least, have the same last name. curious.

but really.. i'm bummed i didn't get to start things. i'd got my head/attitude in the right place.. but nothing.