"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

what about you?
July 03, 2006 - 8:06 pm

it could well be that this is my skill -- the one thing that i'm on this earth to do.

today.. i went up to whole foods, the swanky healthy-folk food place about.. 40 minutes from me. i got a wicked nice baby swiss, though i didn't know it was baby swiss at the time.. i thought it was something exotic.

what spurred the trip? i realized my "healthy" cranberry and apple juice has high fructose corn syrup as a main ingrediant.. and i just don't need that. i want a real juice.. and so, whole foods is the natural place to go.

i got a few other items.. including some real lemonade. it's really a nifty store with some very, very nice items. if i lived closer, i'd shop there more often. i might take that into account if/when it comes time to move.

though i will say.. i felt totally out of place. i was, by far, the fattest person there. i'm a lot more conscience of that now.. which i think is good -- in a twisted way. though i felt like saying, "hey, yes.. i'm fat, but isn't my coming to this store a bit of start?"

of course, i said nothing. who would i say it to?

i spent an asburd amount of time in a quest to get my phone to recognize the memory chip -- haha, yes, my phone can take a memory chip -- so it would play songs.

i know, i know... all i have to say is the phone itself was free. i did spring for the card and usb thingie.. so really that cost as much as i'd pay for a phone. it evens out in my head.

i finally got it to work. the headphones are actaully quite good, the impressed me. will i ever use this feature? i don't know.. but i now have about 100 of my favorite songs in my phone.. and, i suppose, should the battery life not concern me.. yes, i'll use it.

well. maybe.

i nearly went to foxwoods again.. but you see, i kept telling myself i can't do that.. i have work for work to do. kept setting little deadlines i knew i had no intention of keeping. which of course reinforces the little negitive mental jabs i give myself.

i'm torn between stopping that.. and stopping biting/picking at my nails as the main bad habit to quit.

i'm now watching the hotdog eating contest while my cloths dry.

the whole.. wet bun being smashed into the mouth makes me feel queasy. buns shouldn't be so soggy.

anyway. i never quite got the meat of my work work. i called one partner.. left her a message, but she's not called me back. we need to meet tomorrow.. but when? anytime works for me.. she needs to call.. this concerns me. it gives me a kick in that what if i need to, as a precaution, write everything?

it won't be hard.. only need about 6 or 7 pages.. i know the subject, so it's just a matter of an article or two and some writing.

i can write. esp just 6 or 7 pages. heck, i can write a coupla pages for an entry here.. and say really nothing.

kobayashi look surprisingly buff for a hotdog muncher. i don't doubt he'll win.. but i'd love to see the old lady win. that'd just be funny.. and knock down some stereotypes.

upon reflection.. it's very sad this is a whole hour show on espn.. but then.. i'm watching it -- though only to see the actaul eating.

wholey fuck is that one guy fat.

it's staggering how he's so small, kobayashi, and yet eats so much. his stomach must be massive.. and or just unbreakable.

anyway. i wasted today.. just like yesterday.. and the day before. i've no choice tomorrow, i'll do some work.

what about you?