"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

reality and lost
October 12, 2005 - 9:43 pm

anyway.

i'm trying to decide if i really like lost -- if watching it is worthwhile. by that i mean, i want them to explain it.. but as soon as they explain it, it's over. if they don't explain it, then what's the point of watching?

it's a classic catch-22.

besides, the show has taken some weird ass twists.. and the supernatural monster thing is gone - at least for now. that's what i wanted explained most of all..

in othere news, i haven't done much in the way of gmat work. i think about it a lot at work.. but not so much action once i'm home.

in fact, you could say i fantasize about it at work.

of course, the real dream there is quitting. so the gmat just might be nothing more than a liking to have an alternate plan.

i loath to quit.. money is good. i loath go to through the whole conversation about how coming back to CT was a big mistake. every day i've stayed here.. is just compounding that mistake.

it's kind of sad. i had these weird, foolish ideas about things would be coming back. of course, i knew before i even found a place to live here that i'd fucked up.

i think turning down the insurance job a month or so ago was a good idea. that was purely going after some random out.

undoubtedly, for a short time i'd have been happier. i just can't imagine doing that job long-term would be good.

change for the sake of change.. can be good, but not always.

i wish i may, i wish i might.. stumble across something i really, really like.

anyway.

i guess the moral of the musing is.. if you really want something to change, you try. if you don't, you don't.

i need to revisit the quote at the top of this page more often.. thoughts.. then words.. then actions.

of course, if you never get to actions.. the thoughts and words are useless. which doesn't bode well for habits, character, and destiny.