"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

things i like, my job and the blow-up
July 12, 2005 - 5:40 pm

i also like swiss cheese, but that's cause of the taste.

upon reflecting on the blow-up of the other day.. the thing that lingers with me most is that two things seemed to have caused it.

the day before the blow-up, i sent my resume to be reviewed and she didn't seem to want to do it. this irked me a bit, but i understand some people don't like to proof-read something like a resume. so really, i was fine with it.

the next day.. i detect nothing but "bad vibes" as i try to strike up an im chat.. and sure enough, she's decide we need not to talk until i've sorted out what i'm going to do. she points to the resume as something that's like pretending.. pretending to be normal i guess.

she doesn't get how on earth i could go from a few days go buying a box of sleeping pills to asking her to review my resume.

to me, the connection is easypeasy. i don't like my job. a job i like would be good for me.. so i need to find a new job. i consider getting my lazy ass together enough to update my resume and post it on monster a rather good thing.

i explain this.. but the fight is already on.

ironic i suppose that the cause was me trying to do something good for myself.. and asking for a little proofreading.

lord knows my diary needs proofing.

anyway, all the rest of seemed to just be bluster and emotion. one outburst after the next... a wicked downward spiral indeed.

i wonder how things would have gone if after being told my reasoning for the resume she'd replied with something like "oh. i see. that makese sense. sorry i jumped the gun."

i suppose it doesn't matter, what actaully happened is what matters.

i also like vanilla yogurt. again, it's a taste thing.. and it's pretty healthy stuff.

sitting at work today.. i found myself thinking more than once.. what the fuck was i thinking taking this job back? how did i delude myself this much? is my aversion to looking for another job really so strong? or was i naive enough to buy into all the smoke that was blown up my ass?