"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

i wont send it.
February 14, 2003 - 8:55 pm

i know it's the right thing.

i knew that you wouldn't like it. i knew that you would resist it.

that was to be expected.

i expected you resolve on the issue to fade. that you'd promise to pay me back, something like that.

this isn't about you and me. it's about something i precieve to be more important.

i'm understanding now that even though i think 'the us' should be a factor in things...that it is.

you said the words, that you couldn't stand to be in debt, especially to me.

to me, it's not a debt. to me...it's the right to do.

i looked through all the emails we've exchanged, looking for you cell phone number. i've long since lost it. i wanted to call you and talk to you about it before you came on line.

i found your home number, i even called. you weren't home..just the machine. i left no message.

then you came on, we talked..and i think i upset you.

i didn't mean to upset you. well no, i knew you'd be upset at the idea. i thought you'd come around to it.

like i said, it is the right thing for me to do. i'm not doing it with any illusion or delusion about us - that's a seperate issue.

you don't want me to send it. i won't. i'll abide by that. i should send it, but i won't.

i'm sorry for upsetting you. i hope you get to see him soon.