"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

what i'm thinking about.
December 21, 2002 - 6:41 pm

something specific tonight.

last night i went around the mulberry bush on an issue.

my mind isn't set on how i feel about that yet. things are still bubbling.

the last time we went around the mulberry bush you said something along the lines that you told me you wanted to try for us to be an "us", but that you knew when you said it nearly two years ago you knew you couldn't do it.

i think you called it a fantasy story, something like that...a facade perhaps? f-words are coming to mind.

i called it a lie. you didn't like that.

a lie is a falsehood. however you'd like to sugarcoat a rationalization..it's still a lie. you didn't believe you could do us as a relationship, you said you knew you couldn't. you hoped you could, but you knew you couldn't.

this time we went around the bush you said you wished we could go back to very start.

i called that regret. you didn't like that.

regret is when you wish something was different than it is...when you wish you could go back and do something over, when you think that you made a choice you'd like to have back....that you'd like to go back in time and choose a different path. you're dissapointed with how things are and wish it was different.

that's what i'm thinking about right now.