"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

still awake
April 16, 2002 - 8:33 pm

i decided while riding up in the elevator that i was going to radically change some behavior patterns. one i was going to change was going to bed early and sleeping like 10 hours or so a night.

it's so damn hot...and i just feel lethargic.

i've cycled through the tv channels and there's nothing on. i just want to strip down and lay in my bed...sometime later fall asleep.

i'm sort of hooked on my evening mental stories i tell myself. nothing terribly exciting, but just stories that roll around in my head. i make them movies.

my head is itchy.

i got a hair cut yesterday. i thought the guy was going to shave my head. i said i wanted it short and so he picked up the clippers and an attachment. he put it on and started to cut. he stopped, took off hte attachment and tossed it on the counter and started to cut again. i almost jerked away and said 'what the fuck?' but i didn't. i thought he was using the bare clippers, but i was wrong. he must have picked up to attachments and switch from one to the other.

i have this ongoing desire to shave my head totally bald. it's a sort of statment thing that i am free of my ruts...a sort of act of rebellion, something like that. i'm not at that point..but one day i might well do it.

i like grapefruit juice. ruby red.

i'm not at all sure that moving to pa will solve anything. it's like i've found a temporary event to distract me from the basic issues i wrestle with.

sometimes i think the whole when i'm awake is really a dream and when i sleep the real me is awake. something like that. i must somehow remind myself not to eat pizza for i fall alseep...cause the dreams i'm living are more like nightmares.

i want to go to mohegan sun before i leave. i should do that this weekend.

hrm, things i'm waiting for input on:

new aol nickname

volunteers for roommates

uhm, there's another but i forget.