"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

we all have dreams...
Feb 18, 2002 - 9:22 pm

i freakin' tired.

i dunno. i wonder if you ever understood me and what i was saying. there's no way for me to know.

i think desolate sums up my mood. i'm tired of trying to pretend i'm happy.

i'm pretty fucking pissed at jeff. i asked him today if he looked into anything along the lines of me being transfered and he said "no, but he would."

i'm not any happier to see that your thinking of stopping posting here. not that i really can have much input to that...since we are at that oh-so-awkward stage of things. i guess i think of me as that external force you're looking for...though you don't.

i'm pretty confused about this...i don't get car companies at all. the cost can be damn near the same...but payments differ so much. i've decided that the lowest payment wins and that looks to be a saturn or the jetta. saturn is a tad lower, but i like the jetta a lot better, so i decided out with the lowest wins...and so i think it's a jetta. the whole car thing has really gotten me down too. it goes to the heart of my problem with stamford. i can't afford a car i think i should be able to...i can't even afford to lease a car i think i should be able to and jeff hasn't bothered to make any calls yet.

you know...there's not a damn thing i can list right now that i like in my life.

out of everything...the thing i want most is someone who wants to spend time with me. i understand that's not such a paletable idea..but we all have dreams, no?