"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

what's my deal
2001-09-22 - 10:47 a.m.

i put an offer in on a condo, which had been on the market for like 80 days, and some other bastard put an offer in on the same day. what's the chances of two offers going in on the same day on a unit that's been sitting there for 80 days? pretty good i guess. our offers were very, very close and so the seller asked us to put in new offers, sort of a little bidding war. so i upped my offer and waited to hear. it turns out the other guy put in a lower offer, but had a faster closing date, so he won. that pisses me off.

in similar terms, i put in an 'offer', actaully more than one to the same person, of a personal nature and i was pretty soundly rejected there to. nothing like getting multiple turn downs and offered the reason 'i dont think we want the same thing' even though the only 'thing' that's been talked about is that we are both single would like to be in a relationship. i never did get a clear idea of what she wanted and how that differed from what she thought i wanted, but nothing i can do about that now. the weird part is, if she were to tell me today that she had reconsidered, i'd probably get all excited.

i think those two big flops have kinda paralyzed me on the job front. i don't deal all that well with rejection, who does? and the thought of going 0 for 3 really bothers me. everyday when i go to work i say under my breath 'i quit.' i resolve that when i get home, i'm going to type up my cover letter, reread my resume and email the darn things out. everyone says we are in a recession and it's a bad, bad time to look for a job. i don't really get that. there's tons of jobs out there.

maybe part of my hesitation on the job front is that i know my office would become hell for those who are left. two of the guys are already bitching they are overworked, even though one manages to send over 30 personal emails a day. the other is trying very, very hard to get himself fired. i'm not sure what his deal is. i think he's pissed cause we have a boss now who when he asks for something, he actaully expects us to follow up on it. in the past you could just offer up some lame excuse, if you were ever asked again about it, and blow it off. i mean this new boss actaully wants us to have an organized lunch hour system, oh horror of horrors. no more just get up and go to lunch whenever you feel like it. i think it's funny people are bitching about stupid stuff like that. it's like i'm the only one in the office that has a clue about what a real office/business type environment should be like. everyone else is like, we should be left totally alone and he (our boss) should just go sit in his office and not bother us about following up on leads and other 'trivial' things. the people who are saying these things are also bitching because they havn't earned a bonus check in about two or three months. well, guess why you're not getting a bonus? that's right, you're not selling enough...how do you sell more? well, one good way is to follow up on leads, get ahead of projects, get quotes out fast. typing emails and answering your cell phone to chat to friends isn't going to get you any money. oh well, like i've said before my office isn't full of salespeole and it needs to be.

gosh darn it. i'm out of waffles.

i gave my amp and bass away this week. i dunno to who, i just set them in the basement, one each day and poof they were gone. someone's happy.

anyway, like i started to say, i need to figure out what my deal is. i need to focus on something and do that. i'm not at all sure that a new job is the best thing to focus on, but what else do i have?