"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

BMW
2001-05-28 - 9:57 a.m.

Anyway, in short. I am disturbed by these relvelations. I feel foolish and childish for things I've written. But only for a moment. I'm much better now.

I'm actaully thinking of trying to compose a real article and submitting it to the local news rag. They have columns that people write about whatever they feel like blathering on about. I think I could take my ideas on 'kids these days' or the whole '16 year old gets breast implants' or some other topic and whip something up. I wonder if I mailed it in, if it would actaully get published. Wouldn't that be freaky? How should I sign it? Kraven, another alais or my real name? Look at me, I'm already debating which would look best in four inch high block letters on the cover. I'm so foolish, impertinent and incorrigible. I'm so firmly rooted in my own little surreal self-dulsions that I just won a Puletzer. I almost had to split it with myself since I wrote two articles, but they decided that would sound silly.

My back still hurts, mostly when I get up. It's been quite a while now hasn't it? I wonder it will ever fix itself. Insolent muscle tissue! Figures I get stuck with tissue that doesn't understand it's supposed to heal. I wonder if I can just get a the muscles in my back transplanted.

Today is 'Big Word Monday' it seems.

I did wake up today at 6am, just like I normally do on a monday and thought to myself, 'Kick ass, I can sleep for another hour', just like I always do. I woke up again at 6:55, I hate the sound of my alarm which goes off at 7. I reached out to turn it off and saw it was already off. I considered this for a moment. It is most odd that the alarm was nto set. I normally set it, check the time and volume of the alarm at least twice before I go to bed. It then dawned on me that today is a holiday. I promptly fell back asleep. I'm so good like that.

I got rather cocked at the bar last night. I switched from rum and coke to Bicardi Limon and Sprite, very tasty. I was sitting next to a group of three girls who couldn't have been 21, but I'm not the doorman. It was sort of funny to listen to them chatter. They talked about school and boys and other things. One made the comment, "I could _have_ any of my x's any time I wanted." I almost leaned over and added my to cents that you should stop dating boys and date a man. But then I supposed they'd come back and laugh saying, "And your a man?" Feeling in an honest mood I would have replied laughing myself, "Hardly." All in all it didn't seem a worthwhile thing to do.

I think one of the new tenants of Kravenism is not to distrub the delusions of others without a good reason. I probably would have angered that girl if I had made that comment. I would have been challanging her concept that she was hot and sexy and any boy would want her. Girls seem to hold that very near and dear. Of course that's our society molding our minds again. Fashion is all about that. Womens fashion is abll about looking sexy and hot. Each year new slinky dressed come out, bathing suits get smaller and smaller, material gets more transparent. Men's fashion though hasn't changed. Oh excuse me, pinestripes and white cuffs/collars on colored shirts came into style not to long ago. It's funny though. Women wear cloths designed to make them look sexy and then they get annoyed when a man thinks sexual thoughts about them. You can't take a fat kid and drop him in a candy store and expect him not to drool. Let's face it, men think about sex alot. Maybe women think about it just as much, but dont express it like men do.

How the hell did I dengerate into this drivel?!?

Wow, I guess I felt the urge to pontifiate and off I went.

Today's song quote:

"Baby go to bed and put out the light. We both know if we talk anymore we are gonna end up in a great big fight. You can have your way again, yeah, you believe what you want to believe."

--Everclear