"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Update and Boston..
2001-02-24 - 00:32:13

Yeah well, that was corny huh? But, I am back.

I archived up the old stuff and so begins the Second Batch.

I am going to go back to grad school starting in the summer. The only thing left to work out is the money side, which is a pretty big thing to work out. I got some loan papers and the school is sending me packet to fill out....so we'll have to see. I can't wait to get into debt....*sigh*

But I need to, I need to get out of what I do and into something, hopefully, that I will actaully like. I'm gonna be pissed if I dont...not to mention broke.

This almost means that in three months are so, I will be moving. My first move in over a year, which is my longest streak since I left home for college.

It's a two year MBA program and I am going to have a dual concentration, which I'm pretty excited about. MIS and Healt Admin, basically combining technology and Health care...which isn't nearly as limiting as it might sound. Each concentration is the full deal, so my MIS is the same as any other MIS MBA person...I'm just using most of my free electives to get the second degree. My goal is to get an MIS type job with a Hospital/insurance company/drug company/Health Care Network/ect...

ANYWAY...what else is knew...not much, actaully.

I was talking to a girl who works with my company up in Boston. I was going to go up and see her this weekend, but we talked for like an hour Thursday and she really freaked me out. She told me this story about she moved to Boston a year ago to be with a guy, who she loves, but he doesnt love her. They are friends who fool around, but if she thought we clicked when I came up she had nothing holding her to Boston. I guess I got confused/freaked cause she admits she loves this other guy, BUT is talkin' about quittin' her job in Boston and moving here, (her postion in the company does not exist at my office) and we havn't even met yet...

Up until Thursday I thought this other guy was just a friend she fooled around with, a friend with benifits, but he found a new girl and told her the sex stuff had to stop and she was all upset about it. I thought that was kinda odd, how upset she was cause they were just friends and then she said that she loved him...

What was she thinking?? She wanted me to come up BEFORE he ended things with her, yet she now says she loves him and he is why she moved to Boston. I think both of those little tidbits could be filed under 'stuff I'd liked to know before I drive four hours', don't you?

We both agreed that nothing 'physical' would be definite, but we had some pretty innudendo filled conversations and have pretty compatable tastes in those kinds of things...so I think it probaly would have happened. I guess my definition of love kinda varies from hers. I mean if I loved someone and was with them, even if it wasn't the exact type of realtionship I wanted, I wouldn't be looking for a new girl...OR if I realized that while I loved her, she didnt love me and I needed to move on and get past her, I wouldn't keep seeing her. As much as it would suck, I'd have to end the relationship. It wouldn't be right or fair to me or her to keep sleeping with her and hoping for a serious relationship if she was clear it wasn't going to happen.

I'm kind of annoyed actually. I'm thinking she was setting me up as a sort of rebound guy who she wouldn't have to see again. While I might not mind being used, I'd like to know about it upfront so I can decide if I want that or not.

When I told her I wasn't so sure I wanted to come up, she started saying things like:

"But you know I can make you happy. You know how good I could make you feel, don't you want to experience just how good I can treat you? But I can garuntee anything will happen."

Did I ever mention I tend to react badly to attempts to manipulate me? Well...I do. She blatantly trying to bait me with a glimmer of sex to entice me to come up...As soon as she said that I knew there was no way I was driving up. I asked her why she was trying to pressure me into drive up and she denied she was doing anything of the sort...she just wanted to be sure I wouldn't regret not 'experiencing' her later...

Somehow, I think that's an experience I can do without.