"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

The reunion
September 01, 2008 - 7:17 pm

Last night... I made it home around 11. Played with her for a bit, but I was quite tired... so laid in bed. My plan was for her to join me, as she often does, and give some quality petting time.

No more than 20 seconds after I laid down... Loca jumped upon the bed, bit my shoulder and jumped off. I didn't react. A few seconds later she jump upon the bed again... this down by my fee and bit my foot.. and jumped off. I heard paw padding around the room and got something of a sense what it'd be like in a horror movie when you can hear the monster stalking you.

She jump upon the bed, this time the other side and bit my forearm... and then things settled down.

Fair enough I suppose.. gone three days, bit three times.

As for the reunion... I've really struggled with what to say here. I suppose.. I'll just stick to a few key thoughts:

1) I'd forgotten my grandmother's voice.. which I suppose happens when you've not seen/talked to someone for 15-ish years. I like her voice. It's hard to describe... and no doubt this won't make much sense at all.. but it's a sort of waverly voice... a slow speaker... full of little mid-west sayings. You'd have to hear it and then shake your head and wonder why I like it. I can't really say... I just do.

2) My father worse. He can hardly walk at all anymore. My mom bought him a nifty walker with wheels on each leg... and a seat that folds down. Which means he can walk for a while and then sit on the seat and be pushed. A wheel chair would be infinitely better for pushing.. but the option to walk when he feels like it good. The left side of his is a bit droopy... no doubt from the stroke. He hardly utters a word.

I really can't imagine what it was like for him to be a gather of 30+ people.. and he's the worst one -- both physically and mentally. Sure grandma has a walker too, but she gets around much better than does and is much more 'with it' mentally.

I could probably go on about him, but there's not much point. The long slow decline... is in full effect.

3) It was odd, very odd, to be around so many relatives. To be around so much... presumptive liking. Does that make sense? Six aunts and uncles... probably 15 cousins... two of which are adopted. A handful of grandkids... and a host of spouses/in-laws. I doubt I could name half of them right.

In a way... I suppose I feel cheated I didn't grow up near them. I grew up where my father was from, no where near my mother's family. My father has no family.. at least none that I know of. I vaguely recall... something about his mom having a sister... perhaps I'll ask about that sometime. Probably not.

There were several I didn't talk to once.. nor them me. Not from being rude, but well... they all know each other so my splinter group of a family was something of a 'fifth wheel'. They all have stories to talk about.. and my brother and I can just sort of nod and listen. He could chime in more being older and therefor... recalling more of the handful of family trips we took.

Late on the 1st full day one of the uncles asked, "So, how is your dad?"

I was kinda of shocked at the question. It's plain to see how he is. I sort of shrugged and he's doing ok... my voice trailing off. The uncle sort of nodded and perhaps thought he shouldn't have asked.

They did this picture thing.. each segment of the family sitting with grandma and taking pictures and then various other groups. I felt bad for grandma.. she must have been flash-blinded. And even though the one uncle is photo expert type guy who was taking shots to share with everyone.. five or six others had to take pictures too.

It felt.. awkward. So many around me who are related.. with this presumptive level of familiarity. Like strangers who feel they have not only the right, but the obligation to talk with you.. and ask about you.

How twisted a thought is that?

I dislike such... loose social situations with unknown folks. I'm simply not comfortable.

Perhaps I'd feel different if I'd grown up near them.

The best part was, by far, hearing the aunts and uncles tell stories... things I no doubt heard before, but didn't register due to my age. Little tidbits of this and that... I wish they'd done more of that.

On the plane ride out I did some mental search for what I could recall of past trips.. and the only 'strong' memory (well, other than the now rejuvenated recollections of grandma's voice) is being in a hospital gift shop where grandma worked/volunteered.. and getting sick. I mean puking on the floor. This came up in a family talk... more like I asked if it was a valid memory... and yes it is. My brother laughing... "You used to get sick everywhere."

Oddly.. I don't recall being a sickly child and certainly am not ill these days.

And.. I suppose I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about my nieces. Much like the start of this, people misunderestimate what I mean when I describe them. People at the reunion thought they were just amped up due to all the new folks.. but no, we explained... this is normal. The typical reply was "oh my..."

My dislike for the older one continues to grow. She's simply an overly manipulative self-centered child. I do mean overly. Even at the age of 7, nearly 8, every single thing must be her way all the time. She will openly and intentionally twist the words of one parent to try and get the other to do (or let her do) what she wants. At the slightest hint of a firm no.. she'll start to cry and fume... the tears on in an instant. Utterly zero regard for what anyone else cares to do...

She has little concept of proper behavior in a public place... say a restaurant. She has no issue with walking over to other tables and bother folks... or standing up in the booth and bother the people next to us... or reaching to someone else's plate to take food she decides she wants... or choosing to climb all over one of us (generally her mother) as we try to eat... or taking a drink from our glass without asking... or well, you get the point.

Typically once she realizes she's pushed and pissed off an adult (usually me or my mother).. she pause and give this little doe-eyed look and say, "I love you..." Her way of making it all better. She alleviates whatever guilt she feels and considers all instantly better.

In any group of kids, she'll instantly take control and wiggle them into whatever game she wants to play. This worked out well.. since she was the oldest great-grandkid there.

I sort of I wish I could explain things better... or simply had some video to show as and explanation.

While I dislike her... I know it's not her fault. Her parents simply let her get away with too much crap. They bend and give far, far too much... but they are the parents, so be it. We (my mother and I) do our best to abide by how the parents run things and not impose our own opinions on what should or shouldn't be done.

The younger one I like more. While 5 and can be just as 'demanding', it's more... normal. It's how one would imagine a child to act. She is, in general, a good foil to her sister.