"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Fires... endless fires.
July 11, 2008 - 8:30 am

I'm working from home today. I've got a doc appt in the afternoon and well, this WAS supposed to be the quiet time. This week -- the last two weeks -- have been pretty hectic. As in.. busier than normal.

Not so much with a few major things, but a never ending stream of little things. One after another.. after another... after another. As I generally dislike working from home, this is a bit of a gamble. The connection is slower... I can't go talk to people. I just don't like it.

I want a separation of home and work.

I suppose home's not all bad. I don't need to shave. I can wear what I want. I can pretty much do what I want, as long as I keep connected enough to be 'active'. I can very much see why a lot of people like it. I'm just not one.

I also feel a twinge of guilt since even though I'm home, I end up ignoring Loca. Such is life I suppose.

Otherwise, my back is slowly getting back to normal. Slowly. Always an odd twinge here or there... of I'll find I've been sitting wrong and it's sore again. But at this point, it's just sore -- not painful. The difference makes... well.... all the difference.

As for work, I'm a bit annoyed really. I had interviewed with three folks to for one spot a good two or three weeks ago and then nothing. Perhaps a blessing in disguise. In the meantime, a different job was posted... and I applied for that.

It's the sort of 'what the fuck am I thinking thing'. Am I qualified? Sort of... but it's one of those positions that lots and lots of people want. Pays very, very well.. but well, like most (if not all jobs) that pay well, there's a reason for it. I struggle to imagine myself actually doing the job. Actually being the KEY person in a relationship with an account.

It would be.. wearing suits as the norm. It would travel. It would be meetings with, as they say the c-suite.

It would be many tough conversations to have about the realities of our world... but in the end, everyone you deal with is a person. They may be an unhappy person... but a person nonetheless.

I do have have my moments when I just can't relate to people at all.. but well, I've gotten good at acting.

Oh, which brings me to this past Wed. I left work very much more stressed out than normal (though the brain candy is clearly working as I wasn't in an extremely morbid mood). I left late and was quite hungry, so I stopped at Panera. I don't, as rule, eat there often... the sandwiches are ok, but well... quite pricey in my mind.

I walk in and there's six people in front of me. Two cashiers. One guy is buying a ton of bagels and bread, so that cashier is out... leaving just one for the six of us.

I frowned.. as the lady paying started digging in her purse and finally pulled out her coin purse. Is it that hard to have it ready if you're going to use it?

The next lady did the same basic thing... fidgeting about looking for pennies. I hate them too.. but well, why not have them ready as you're standing in line?

This is akin to people who fly and ignore the request to have IDs ready... and then fumble about looking for it.

In my mind, they should go to the back of the line and try again.

I'll be damned if the next person, a guy, didn't do the same thing. Digging around in his pockets for change for the bill.

I gather money is money... but after seeing my bill of just over $8 for a sandwich and a drink... if you're in the position where you need to make every penny count, your ass shouldn't be at Panera. There's a McD's four doors down. You could get two means for $8. Well, perhaps not two.. but one for less.

Better still, you should be eating at home where $8 could easily cover all the food you'll need all day and but much healthier.

The next lady goes up and says, "This will be in two orders." I don't know why, but I just groaned. Sure enough.. she placed and then 'forgot' part of the second. I assume that's what happened because she goes, "Oh, wait.. I'll be right back."

Bagel lady is still bagging up bagels and slicing them. This guy was buying a TON of them.

I just blinked... as we all stood (more people had come in behind me) and waited for this lady to trot off and get whatever it was clarified...

Anyway, I'm just rambling in a whiny sort of way. It was, in short, one of the most trying times I've ever had. Should the idea ever occur to me again... if there's more than two people in line, I won't be going there.

And.. at 8:52, yes I've been typing this for 22 minutes... the first fire appears.