"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Too old for this shit
June 08, 2008 - 12:09 pm

I think this year's birthday 'happenings' are the lowest... at least in remembered history.

A summary list isn't needed... the full details are short enough:

1) two emails at work -- the highlight as both were totally unexpected.
2) one card from my parents.. which held a receipt in case I want to return was is, without a doubt, the most depressing gift I've ever gotten -- more on that later.
3) one phone call, a v-mail, from my parents

That's it. The above mentioned gift� I got back on Memorial Day. It's a holder and American flag� to mount on my balcony or something like that. Yes, it's by far the most depressing gift I've ever gotten. The close second, upon reflection, is the gold Gemini necklace-thing that I got years ago.

Why is the flag depressing? Does it have to do the holiday and all the lives lost for the country? No, nothing like that.. nothing like that at all.

It's depressing.. because my mother thinks (thought?) it was something I wanted, that I'd be happy to get a mount. I can't even start to fathom why she thought I'd like this. In the past, she's gotten me bumper stickers and magnets for my car� and I've told her I won't put them on. I simply don't like the idea of littering my car (or any car) with pointless junk. I can see if a particular cause is extraordinarily close to you� perhaps then, but not for me.

The card I got yesterday held the receipt for the flag, so I can take it back. When we spoke about it, I said I wasn't sure if I was allowed to mount such a thing � and I'm really not. No condo in the area has anything like it. I think she understood and that's why the receipt is in the card.

Once I return it, I'll then have zero birthday gifts. Not a one.

Well, other than the minor spending spree I did for myself� the new dishwasher, desk and chair that all arrive tomorrow.

What did I do on my birthday? At first I had no plans� just another random day. But� late Friday I decided that yesterday, my birthday, I'd wander up to the casino. I don't really have the money to blow there thanks to the three incoming items tomorrow� but I went. I wanted to see the new MGM Grand� and, of course, play some poker in-person.

The MGM is� from a casino point of view, quite small. Stunningly small compared to Foxwoods itself. It seems the point of MGM is more about entertainment� about shows, concerts� and a spa. Something Mohegan was better as I assume. Foxwoods is the casino, MGM the resort.

I thought MGM might have it's own poker room, but it didn't. I ended up in WPT room in Foxwoods� I played from about noon to seven. How's that for wasting away a day?

As is my custom, I took two sets of cash to play � I'm willing to go bust twice on any given trip, so I split the money I'll play with in two. And go bust once I did� However, at around 6-ish I was up money� and fritted about until it was time to go at 7 where I ended up down $50. Considering I spent $65 paying the casino for the privilege to play.. I ended up basically even. Take out food (a so-so meal in the food court at MGM) and gas and I'm no doubt really down $50 � or $75 overall depending on how you count.

However� I did use this past birthday as a way to decide something. What could be truer about me than finding myself torn between two options and letting something random decide. It's really quite simple, if I'm ok/accept with the "random" result, then I know it's what I really wanted. If I start fishing about for best two out of three, then I know I want the other option. A simple way to ferret out the truth.. nothing is truly ever equal. Ever. The trick of the method is to really go with how it turns out and not second guess.

I'm not happy with the turn of events� I am sad. I am disappointed. I am not surprised.

I suppose what I'm disappointed the most in is myself� but that's a whole other entry. A whole other issue. One I need to think about.. to ponder on.

As they like to say in the movies, I�m getting too old for this shit.