"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Ads, what the f is going on?
March 24, 2007 - 8:02 am

The half of it watched, I knew all the answers.. but I couldn't quite watch the whole show. It's way to slow. I don't want to hear the commentary from foxworthy. Sure I get he has to babble some to give time to think.. but, if I recall right, in the half hour I watched, I saw five questions. Sure a lot of that time was taken up by commercials.. which annoy me all the more. I'm still on something of "I'm paying for cable, why do I have to see commercials? Don't the advertisers pay money to show me their wares -- so the cable folks are getting paid twice." rant. After all, if I pay for HBO, there's no commercials. So why do I get them when I pay for cable?

Now if cable were free, like radio, then I can totally see why I'm barraged by commercials.

To keep on the subject, I read an article the other day about how it's hard to know just what an ad is selling these days. They've gone, more or less, around the bend into trying to be entertaining and not so much informing. I agree with this and it's another reason why I don't like them. But that's just one reason.

If you want to sell me something, don't do the following:

1) Don't bash your competitors - quiznos is my example here. All I get about your ads is that you think subway sucks.. not that your sandwiches are good. Your ads are more negative than political ads. I'll never ever eat at one of your stores. In fact, I change the channel whenever your ads come one. The only thing worse than your negative ads was the ones with the singing cat. So yes, you "win" in that I know you. But I know you to make sure I never eat your food. I like Subway's ads -- the ones with how much weight so and so lost. Those are good, positive ads.

2) Target your ads better. The single funniest commercial I've seen in ages is for a kids movie (I forget the name, which is ironic in this case) with the villan who seems to control animals.. and he's using a gigantic T-rex to try and get a kid.. but the t-rex can't.. the villan demands to know why and the t-rex "because I have a big head and little arms." Just thinking about it makes me smile. Will I go see the movie? Probably not.. I don't know the name. When do I see this ad? Either during basketball tourny (er, why do a kids show here?! Do you want the kids to get hooked on seeing the show?) or during some crime scene drama show. I'm sure it airs other times.. but it just doesn't seem to fit to me. The kids the movie is for, I wouldn't think, don't make up the main part of the audience.

3) Being cute is good.. funny is better.. but just trying to be clever is well.. worthless. These are the ads that the article was talking about. You see them and just what the message is.. isn't clear. I can't think of an example because I tend not to watch them and, hopefully, I don't recall them. I don't need to waste braincells holding their jibber.

4) Don't insult me. Really. Don't. What ads do I find insulting? The "I'm a man" ads. Who does them? Burger King I think? These ads are in the same vein as a lot of tv shows -- a lot of comedy shows. I don't watch them.. because the guy is always the big fat idiot (though he gets the hottie wife) who time after time after time fucks things up.. doesn't listen to what he should and blah blah blah. Not too long ago all women in shows were the dutiful housewife who cleaned and didn't do anything else. their was a backlash to that.. and I'm waiting patiently for it come on the "men are idiots" theme. Perhaps I'm the idiot for waiting.. I don't know. I get that a show, well come types of shows, need to have an idiot to make it funny.. and there's only two choices: guy or gal.. but it would be nice to see a mix.

Anyway, perhaps guys deserve to get tagged idiots if they are indeed buying burgers with twenty-seven beef patties.

I suppose guys are also buying razors with seventeen blades -- I'd like a razor with one blade that says sharp. surely we can do this in this day and age? Women would love them too... think about an ad: "The ginzu razor -- will say sharp for ever!" Or am I to think that tin cans put less wear on a blade than hair?

What else do I think is dumb? The corporate naming of sporting and concert venues. What the fuck? Yes, yes.. sure, getting your name out has a value.. but, to me, it simply can't be for the sake of having your name out. It should have a point. I refuse to believe that more people will buy a Chevy car because their favorite band just played at the Chevy theater. I refuse to believe more people will bank or use a financial institution because their favorite sports team plays in that arena.

Dear god, I'm sure I'm wrong and people do just that.. but.. but.. I refuse to believe it. I don't care what data you show me. I refuse to believe that my fellow humans are that dumb. Why on earth would it sway me to buy from the company who bought the naming rights to a place that has NOTHING WHAT SO EVER to do
with what the company does?

This behavior totally fits with the ads we see. Who the fuck cares what the ad says, just as long as it says our name and is funny.

Perhaps I'm the last of dying breed.. while you do need to get my attention, the least you can do for interrupting me while I'm waiting what I want to watch, but you better damn well tell me why I should buy something from you too.

So what's a good commercial?

Good is a commercial that tells me why their product or service is effective and why I should buy it. Good is not making up diseases that need treatments. I don't want to get an pharmaceutical rant or I'd probably never stop.

I don't care much for trucks, but I needed a "real" pickup truck I'd like the ones about the bigger brakes.. with the ramps and showing it holding a brazillion pounds. It's a catches my attention and gives me some real benefits to owning the truck -- it tells me why it's different and better than it's competitors without bashing them. Quiznos could learn a lot for from this. Tell me how much meat your sandwich has.. how many unique flavors/types you offer that no one else does.. how many choices I can have in toppings.. tell me something, anything, about how "good" your product is. I don't give a rats ass that you show me s clearly smushed down competitors sandwich with the meat all flat and yours all fluffed -- you are lying to me. You are treating me like a moron.

Sorry, I hate their ads.

Who else is good? The Geico caveman ads. I like them. While they don't have a damn thing to do with telling me that Geico has good insurance.. they do tell me that it's easy to get. One knock on insurance is that it's complicated.. it hard to get.. it's time consuming -- but not Geico. Oh hell no.. Neanderthals can do it, so why shouldn't I go and do it? The dialog is just a bonus, "It's my mother.. I'll put on speaker." is great.

I hope one day I'll be able to pay a little extra and not get any ads (like a sirus radio).