"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

cliche machine
July 28, 2006 - 3:45 pm

one song i've always liked is southern cross -- be it by crosby, stills and nash or jimmy buffett. i've always liked the tone.. the pace of it. hearing it so often these past weeks.. one lyric (of several from the song) now lingers in my head from time to time:

"and we never failed to fail
it was the easiest thing to do"

how fucking true is that? the song is about a relationship that's fallen apart.. but i don't just mean in that sense - i mean in general.

if you pause for a moment.. it's mind numbingly easy to fail. all it really takes is your attitude.

that's something else that use to drive me fucking insane as a kid -- you need to fix your attitude or you have lots of potential. my teeth would grate at those words. i'd roll my eyes at the gobbilygook adult speak that didn't really mean anything, but sounded "nice" or "important". a cliche to say to try and motivate.

perhaps i've just spent too much time as an adult.. but the words have new meaning for me.

i can look at my life.. when i'm feeling nice and detached.. and see just how many times i've made a choice and failed. what i did couldn't possibly have worked.. but it "sounded" nice to do.. it seemed "reasonable", but hopelessly doomed is what it was. why would i do these things? well, one must do something... mustn't one?

why this sort of reflection?

i find myself in a position to actaully.. succeed. how did i get here? i bumbled. i stumbled. i fell into it. why? i following the path of most likely to fail.. but could be arguably a good thing "if" it worked.

starting saturday i'll be in chicago. monday morning i'll be in detroit.. and monday night i'll back in chicago. will i be updating? i'm not sure.. i'll be only work laptop and i'm not so sure i want to come "here" on that.. footprints and all.

the lingering doubt in my mind is.. am i setting myself up for a spectacular failure? will things sputter out?

i'm infamous for that to.. to get on a roll and then to have the wheels come off.

i think that's were attitude comes in. i think.. more often than not, we get what we think we will get. we unintentionally manipulate things so that the outcomes match our expecations.

afterall, it's only natural for us to be right -- who wants to be wrong!? the more we are right, the more we can reinforce what we are already thinking.. it just sort of flows.

the age old adage that winners win and losers lose..

dear god.. i'm becoming a walking breathing cliche spitter outter. part of me is ok with this.. since if it became a cliche, there must be a nugget of truth to it.. no?

"i suggest we
learn to love ourselves
before it's made illegal"
-- warning, incubus