"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

lingering email
July 23, 2006 - 4:29 pm

i love that trillian lets me see when emails arrive to various hotmail/yahoo accounts.. and one click (more or less) and i'm in.

but.. every now and then i get an email from someone and i loath to open it. it sits. it festers. it waits. i see it. i think about opening it.. but i don't.

99 times out of 100 it's some work related email.. and so it sits in my outlook in box -- yes i can (and do) check work email from home.

i don't know if what it contains is good or bad.. in fact, either way, in this case, it doesn't matter.. i need to know. why don't i want to look? why do i get this twinge in my belly?

i'm so confused by this.

at my last job i would 99 times out of 100 sure it was something bad and so, in a way, it made sense to put off getting something bad. most times it wouldn't be as bad as i thought.. as when something really goes wrong, you don't get an email, you get a phone call.

anyway. in poker news.. we got out of work early friday.. so i went up to foxwoods. i sat down.. and said.. "this just doesn't feel right.." i didn't get up. i played. i lost - twice. $200 down the drain.

one day i'll learn to listen to the voice inside my head. one day. i promise.

i've taken to playing 2/4 limit online.. and it's being good to me. i've made up what i lost at foxwoods plus an extra $50. good on me!

somewhere sits my work bag.. and in that bag sits yet another three ring binder. this one only has some 300 pages. we were supposed to read it this weekend. sorry.. but i've read too much in the past five weeks. did i talk about this? i've two 3 or 4 in binders full of reading material.. and one smaller binder.. plus this new one. hrm. is that right? five weeks.. and four binders? i'm missing one. must be another small one. the "new" one is the fifth binder and it's for the sixth week... yeah, five total binders.

makes my head hurt. right now.. i'm waiting for the washer to get done.. my next place to live will either come with a washer/dryer or will have hookups.

once i put them in the dryer.. i'll read some. more like i'll skim. skimming is good. i need to know the gist of the material.. not the detail. at least, that's my plan.

perhaps i'll even read that lingering email..