"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

the fickle hand of fate
May 30, 2006 - 5:48 pm

it's not that i wasn't tired.. i was.

it's not that i couldn't get thoughts out my head.. well, i couldn't, but they weren't driving me insane or anything.

in most of the weighty issues before me.. i've adopted a fatelist (spelling??) attitude. i've done what i've done.. and fate is shaking the dice. i'll know where things stand.. when fate rolls.. and i see the results.

that's not to say i like waiting.. i don't... but there's nothing else to be done.

i tend to do all my obessing and mulling and fretting.. mostly before i act.

anyway. like i said, i didn't sleep at all last night. i kept having little daydream-like fantasy stories in my head.

no, not those kind.

the biggest one.. was what would the "call" tomorrow be. tomorrow being today of course.

i didn't get the call friday.. and i wish i had. i couldn't decide what it meant.. was it just people being off? was it that they'd do a the "good" calls first and leave the "sorry" calls for last?

i went into work with my cell on vibrate.. so i'd know. of course, i'd have to find time/privateness to listen.. but that's easy to do.

the call came at about 8:30 -- very early!

i didn't hear the message until about 10:00am..

blah. i had this whole long entry typed out in my head. going off on tangnets about three of the main facets of life (personal, interpersonal, and career) and how shape/contort people into who they are.. well, along with a healthy dose of genetics of course.

the short version is this:

the job i really, really wanted... i got.

yeah. i was sure she was calling to offer me the other job (and i'd have taken it.. i've so set myself to think how much i hate what i do now, but that's a whole other story).

i start the middle of next month.. and i'm going to give notice tomorrow. yeah, i know.. a funky day, but i want two days off so i can go home and see my parents.

speaking of.. i need to call them tonight. i already told my mom over lunch.. right after i got the news (arn't i good child? heh, if you only knew the rest..)

are there others i'd like to call? of course. will i? well, some of them.. others, well.. there's nothing to be done there at this point.

what will i be doing? i don't feel like typing it out. how much will i be paid? more than now, more than now.

what's the odds i won't live to start the job? 50/50.. i'm not at all sure my current boss is going to react well.

what else? hrm, nothing else. at least not at the moment.

am i moving? no.

ok, now i think that's it.