"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

another dream... up in smoke.
May 13, 2006 - 9:54 pm

of course i went there again. how could i not?

i got there earlier.. and stayed longer. i shouldn't have. i should have left much sooner than i did.

in short, i got decimated.. well, not decimated.. more like, cleaned out. this was largely due to two hands. one was a completely and totally inept call i made. truth be told, i should have got up then and there. i refuse to explain the hand.. as well, it was the f'ing bad.

the other was pocket aces that lost on the river to two pair. this one doesn't bother me.. it's poker, these things happen. losing when i make the right call/play doesn't bother me.

being inept bothers me.

i'm not sure if i'll be going back.. though i probably will.

anyway.. i'm left.. feeling largely depressed. not just from the losing, but things in general. i'm becoming more and more sure that i'm unable to make the right choices when it comes to getting/doing what will make me happy.

some.. weird... subconscience thinking that i'm truly undeserving of being happy.