"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

last day of the month
August 31, 2005 - 7:08 pm

no, you can't do yourself.

i don't mean give someone bill gate's money. i mean, do you know someone who'd "make" a better bill gates? someone who just "fits" a life?

i'm not being clear i fear. oh well.

tomorrow.. i have my interview. i dearly hope it goes well. i hope they tell us that day what's what. i hope to get to have the ackward converstation friday with my boss.

as for more schooling.. i've sent out another email, waiting to see what a prof thinks. though my tentative plan is to find a gmat study guide this weekend.. and work on math for a two weeks or so.. mixing in some verbal stuff, but i've always done well with verbal. phd program needs high math score.

as for schools? yes, i have three in mind. debating a fourth.

wait no. i have 2 for sure.. and debating two more.

why go for a new job if i'm still debating school? simple, where i'm at now fucking sucks. totally and completely.

i got a semi-bitching at today because i didn't know what was going on at an account. well, if you give me an account.. i think you should also give me the info - no? makes sense.

i'm too f'ing busy to sort out what's what and do the work myself. if that's what's expected, i need to lose about 1/4 of my accounts. all i do all damn day is answer my phone and respond. i don't have the luxury of being proactive more once or twice a day -- and my motivation there is purely to save my ass some trouble down the line.

in fact, that's my sole motivation at work -- not to get pissed of customer phone calls.

why? well other than they arn't fun.. i don't have the time to sit and listen to somone bitch and moan. i get too many other calls that go to v-mail.. which lead to other people getting pissed off.. and more non-revenue generating phone calls.. and a downward spiral.

in short, in the three months i've been back, i'm already back at the frustration and annoyance threshold as when i first left. which begs the question, why did i come back? i don't know. i really don't.

i tell people who ask "i lost a bet". it's funny and defuses the question.

anyway. tonight.. i'm going to review my paperwork for tomorrow, read up on the position, find a notebook (leather binder thingie) and think of some questions.