"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

i reject your reality
June 11, 2005 - 10:52 pm

it's very hard to put into words.

like i'm an actor in some weird 24-hour, non-stop, truman show like play.. and if it were to end.. i'd have no idea what to say or do.

that.. if i sit in a chair and say, "ok, what do _i_ want to do?" i've no idea.

i eat. i work. i do whatever i do.. because it's what i'm expected to do.. what the "script" says. left to my own.. i've nothing to do.. i'm lost. i'm clueless.

i'm missing something.

everyone feels that way, or so they say.

i'm not very interested in that. i am not everyone. am i? perhaps i am.

the question of what is "reality" often floats through my head.. life is the, more or less, the sum of what our senory organs tell us it is.

this seems.. straight forward enough.. until you realize how flaws our sense organs are.

many animals can hear things we can't hear. snakes "see" the world through heat sensors.. eagles can spot food miles away.. i can't hear dog whistle.. dophlins have sonar.. sharks can smell blood in the water miles away..

those arn't even exotic animals.

a platypus can sense the bio-electrics of the food it wants to eat. that might not be the right term, but it's close.

i read an article the other day that a buhddist monk can, typical, concentrate 200 times better than the average person can.

think about.. sticking a ruler into a fish tank. my eyes tell me the ruler "shifts". it doesn't really.. just a "trick" of water.

all the time people "see" things out of the corner of their eye that isn't really there. someones one person smells or hears something no one else does.

it's all our "minds" playing tricks on us.. whatever.

sometimes.. i sit and think.. but it's like i can't concentrate quite enough.. and the answer i'm looking for escapes me. perhaps i need to be a monk.

something is off. something is wrong.

i wish.. i could, like the semi-funny guy on mythbuster says -- i reject your reality and subsitute my own.

mine would be better. at least to me.