"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

feeling rather shitty
July 31, 2004 - 9:11 pm

i shouldn't be. i wrote a new story.. and got some good/positive feedback on it..

i started writing in my other dland diary.. the one that talks about all the freaky things i think about..

i've sorta kinda met someone who might turn out to be someone i've been wanting to meet for a while - not a love thing, but.. well.. a category of her own.

school is doing ok.

work is.. what work is.

perhaps it's where i'm living.

i've no idea what the best way to raise kids is.. but goddamn i can't stand it when a 3.5 year old throws a tantrum.. and demands to do X.. and eventually gets what she wants from mom.

granted, mom made her calm down and ask nicely.. but still. i'm talking a good ten minutes of screaming and stomping and wailing.

i was content to let her scream and scream. fuck letting her go outside to skate - which is really me holding her hands and pulling her around.

she throws fits all the damn time.

her mom says she doesn't want to get into a battle of wills.. well, i gots a news flash - you're in one and you've lost.

i can not wait to move out.

i want to sleep in. i want to sleep in a dark room.

i don't want toys and cloths and whatever else all over the fucking floor. i don't want to cut the grass and other home-like things.

perhaps i'm just feeling overly needy and there's no one on i want to talk to.

perhaps some of what i wrote in my last story.. is a little too close to home.