"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

confused
January 22, 2004 - 7:00 pm

actaully, that's the whole first chapter.

no actual reason, just felt like sharing the first chapter.

in other news.. i'm woefully confused. to highlight the situation, let me start with these tragic first words:

so, there's this girl...

you can see things getting tangled up already, i know i can.

here's the situation: perhaps i mentioned her before, i'm not sure, but i'll call her F for now. we were in the same accounting class last semester and sat next to each other for one class. we talked a bit, but that's what two people who sit next to each other do. we didn't talk for a few weeks, but that's cause she moved to a, in her mind, better seat in the first row. i like to sit in the second row.

anyway, we meet in the hall one day before class and talk a bit more - this surprises me.

another time we talk and she invites me to join a little study group for the final in the class - this really surprises me.

i go to the study group, there's only three of us, and she says her and, on a break, she says her and i should go get something to eat. the third person passes, so i'm sort of thinking that this was set up for us to meet and talk.

the catch is that i know she has a boyfriend, so really.. i'm thinking she's just being overly friendly and, perhaps, thinks i'm smart and someone good to know.

her bf and two friends join us - so that was cool. i'm really thinking i'm sort of moving to be accpeted into a group of friends.

time passes.. winter break and all.

she's invited me over to her place, she lives with her bf, and we've all watched moves.. lately she's been talking to me about problems she's been having with her bf.

we are taking one class together this semester and sit next to each other. today she was doodling in my notebook.

she's called me and said 'hey sexy'.

we've had a bit of sexual banter.. but that usually dies off quick with one of us saying 'i don't want to go there.'

i'm really torn between.. is she just a open flirty kind of person or is there something more there?

ahh, oh well.. time will tell.