"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

wholey shit.. this is real!
June 23, 2003 - 5:17 pm

no, not a bad wholey fuck, but a good/scared one.

the email to my coworkers announcing that i'm leaving was sent out today. there's 20 some people in my company. my two office-mates replied to it - but they both already knew what was going on. one other person replied and one person stopped in to chat. that leaves 16 people who didn't bother to reply or say anything to me. granted the email was sent with only three hours to go in the day, but still... only two people in company (my office-mates) wished me a happy birthday.

this irks me not because no one wished me one, but because i've signed cards for everyone elses birthday. apperantly, no one thought to get a card for the company to sign for mine.

i can be bitter about petty things.

then, i get home.. and in the mail was one of my financial aid checks.

first the email, then the check.. then i looked at the calander and damn if i don't leave here in fifty-three days. that's not so long.

it's like.. all hitting me that things are official today.

i put the check in the bank.. and will be paying off my credit cards as soon as it clears. that will be nice. i hope i'm doing the right thing regarding the money.. i think so. it's a lower rate than my creditcards and i won't have to make any payments while i'm in school. still, it's a boatload of money.

overall, i'm going to owe a shitload once this school thing is done. thankfully, starting salaries average well over twice what i'm making now, so even with a crappy job i should be able to handle the payments.

i wish i could dump my car.

i'm very happy my boss decided to do the email and not an announcement at the company meeting this friday. undoubtedly it will come up, but atleast it won't be the first time they've heard it.

to be honest, i don't think many people give a rats ass. if anything, they might be freaked that someone is leaving. we just had someone quit (for personal reasons) not to long ago and it was decided we arn't going to replace her. that made some people nervious - concerned that we aren't replacing someone.

i don't know if i'm going to be replaced or not. i think they will. no one presently there seems too interested in working on my programs.

things for me to do:

- organize my financial aid junk

- sort through my collection of worthless possesions and pitch things out

- find boxes for the things i want to keep

- call goodwill to see if they will pick up things like my couch & bed (someone here want a queen size bed? only four years old. transporting it is your problem!)

- uhm, pay of creditcards (scary thought)

- think skinny thoughts to lose weight