"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

two out of three and A vs B
February 23, 2003 - 2:04 pm

i did my food shopping. let me tell you.. it's snowing wicked bad today. i'm happy i went out and don't have to worry as much about getting the ice off my windshield tomorrow morning. i'd have been cursing up a storm...

i didn't go up to erie to get a new plastic mat, but that's not because i got lazy.. it's cause of the weather. just not worth driving up there for a mat i can get anytime this week.

i did drag my butt over to the college library. i got myself a nifty little library card and figured out how to look up books. i still recall how to use the paper cards, but those seem to be long gone.

the library idea was inspired by my stop over at borders yesterday. i read for like an hour there and decided that instead of buying the book, my local library must have ones on the topics that interest me.

i'm not so sure about that.. well they, but they are rather old.. not that old books are bad. i just want to read stuff by hawking inparticular. he was listed in catalog, but i couldn't find him in the stacks. the bastard is hiding from me. i feel all the worse because he's in a wheelchair. i can move through the stacks much better... or rather i should be able to. i thought i heard him snickering once.. but i couldn't track him down.

i made my way out with other books by folks i dunno - which means nothing since i can only name three or so poeple in the field. i assume there must be more.

to revert back to.. the topic of my last few postings...

i think the difference is this: you think that the best to hope for is some sort of long distnace relationship. things like email, ims, phone chats, vists once a month or something along those lines.

i think that's not the very best - that's not at all what i see as the goal. my vision on this goes farther than yours i guess. it's perhaps a temporary situation that can easily be overcome.

truth be told, one reason, a big reason, i left connecticut was us. there were other reasons, but if we had been getting along as well as we both 'think' we can, then i'd never have left. if we'd have been getting along half as well as we both think we can.. i'd have never of left.

from day one, i tried to make myself very clear on what i was looking for. what i wanted and what i didn't want. we've gone around the mulberry bush a million times. what i want stands. if that doesn't match what you want.. then thats that. you want A and i want B. i'm not going to bend to B and you won't bend to B.

there's no blame of fault there. it's two people who want different things. no matter how much thinging goes into it.. or how much trying.. the basici is A vs B. until that's overcome, there's nothing to be done.

why else do we just go around and around?