"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

thoughts
Feb 11, 2002 - 9:20 pm

first, well not first..actaully it's the most recent. i'm pissed at mbna, the creditcard company. a while back i got a thing in the mail from them about debt consolidation blah blah blah. the whole concept makes total sense to me. get all the money you owe in one place at the best rate and pay it off. i'm down with that. back when i did this with mbna i musta bin brain dead. i agreed to a consolidation loan at a rate that was higher than my creditcard. i'm a fuckin' idiot sometimes.

so today i call up to say you know what, i'd really like to pay off this loan account and put all the money back on my mbna card. there's a pause from the customer service wench and then she says, 'you can't do that.' see, they don't let you fix your mistakes. i can, however, pay off the debt the loan with another creditcard and then transfer that balance to my mbna card. i took me about five minutes to get out of her that i could do this, clearly she wasn't happy i had figured this out. her comment final comment was 'if you so choose.' not a polite, 'yes that is correct' or anything like that and then she goes 'i'll note that.' i said 'excuse me, note it? i don't understand, what do you mean note it?' she goes, 'i'll write a note.' getting a bit annoyed i asked, 'what are you going to note and for whom?' 'i'm just going to put a note on your account.' eh? wtf is this? a note on my account that my idiot spell wore off and i realize i'm paying more money than i should? i hung up shortly after that.

once i find the paper work for that stupid loan i'm going to pay it off with whatever card it will it on, take the card and hide...making the same payments i should with the loan and save some cash.

i'm very financially minded these past few days. the whole car crisis.

i spent like 6 hours on autobytel.com (my new car bible) and various mfg webpages. i thought my eyes might start to bleed.

i test drove the matrix today, didn't like it. i'm a bit bummed about that.

i got my taxes done today, the whole financial thing. i'm pretty damn happy, i'm getting a nice bit back. i'm no longer worried about downpayments and such.

i confirmed i paid my last lease payment already, so i have 1.5 months with no car payment..that rocks.

my parnets sent me a Vday present today. they are odd, i really like that i got something. it was a little box that had a picture of my niece and their dog, which i liked. it had some dark chocolate hearts, i love dark chocolate. the odd part was it had socks in it. dress type socks...dark, like black socks with patterns. i wear khaki type pants most days to work and brown shoes. i don't know much about fashion, but i know blackish socks and brown shoes don't go. my parents know what i wear. it's the thought that counts and atleast i know where my insanity comes from.

i'm all set for tomorrow and my i want outta stamford talk.

my brother called me to ask about disney in march, i'm not going. we ended up talking for like half an hour, unheard of. it was almost as if we were really brothers. bizzare.

did i mention i'm pissed at mbna? ya, i did. i am. the only reason i'm going to keep the card now is that i've had it a long time and it's good to have cards for a long time...makes ya credit report stuff look better.

i nearly shit my pants when the tax guy told my refund. that woulda bin embarassing.

i'm gonna test drive a subaru wrx and a vw jetta next. i am bummed that the matrix sucked. well, not sucked, but i didn't like it. the steering wheel was...i dunno, i wanted to pull towards me. well, kinda. there just wasn't a comfy way to hold it. i didn't like the engine either. it was loud and i hated how it sounded when i stomped on the gas to get up speed for the highway. oh well, i still think it looks cool.

i think i'm going to lease again. you get more car for the money. cars cost to damn much. i love how they inflate the price and then tell you that you can have it at invoice cost...as if the dealership is selling it at no profit. who really believes they are getting a car for the real dealer cost (what the actaul invoice is)? there's kickbacks or whatever legal term they use. it's obscene.

what else...i was feeling very, very stressed at work. my shoulders are very freakin' tight.

things things things. uhm. go back to the previous entry and read it.

i'm to lazy to type out the whole months name anymore. i've soured a tad on opera, but i still like it.

i think there was more to my up and down day.

i went to the gym yesterday. go me. my arms are sore. i was bummed so many people were there. i don't like that. no more gym at noon on sunday for me. i'm going to try and go tomorrow, but we all know how good i am at keeping 'dates' like that.

i might though, i'm all into this new mood. if i don't like it, it's out. if i want it, i'm going toward it. if i can't get it, it's try something else. if/when i realize i just can't get it, then it's gone. screw the whole going around and around in circles....you just run out of gas and get stuck in traffic.

part of that is i want to get in shape. i know i want to and therefore i need to go to the gym. i want to be in a relationship and if you don't..well, i told you i'm not at all good with going backwards. if you weren't sure and i asked many times if you were...you should have been a hell of a lot clearer and we wouldn't be where we are.

my head is itchy.

i don't really enjoy watching all that many of the winter olympic sports.

i've noticed i'm alot more...not quite moody, but quicker to get annoyed that normal. in some ways i like that. i think i'm far to...uhm...forgiving on things. i dunno if those are the right words. sometimes language sucks, it's to inexact.

i'd like to win the lottery.

i pay more in rent that my brother does for his two bedroom house.

i need not to care what others think of me. that's so hard for me to do even though i like to say it. one of those defense mechinism thingies.

i hate my facial hair. i never feel like i have a really close shave. razors often give me those red ugly ass bumps and i still can run my hand over the area and feel hairs...electrics don't give me the bumps, but i still feel like i don't have a close shave.

this is kinda long eh?

ok, no more thoughts for you