"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

thinking and old...
2001-03-03 - 01:20:18

I'm not even going to touch on personal relationships. I poison those simply by entering into one. I could probably go on for hours, but I'm not going to let myself.

I'm tired of people thinking that because I'm male, I will behave in a given matter. It truly pisses me off when, for example, I get a comment on about the entry about that English girl who wanted breast implants. In that I said I don't like huge breasts and think it's stupid for women to get breast enlargements. If she really wants it, fine do it...in my opinion its a waste of cash, but its her chest and her cash. I've been told that what I said in that entry is wrong, that ALL men love huge breasts. No, no it's not true goddamn it, I just said I didn't like them. Mostly it's women who say that all men like huge breasts and super skinny girls. These are the same women who, if blond, get mad if you say they are 'an airhead'. Seems it's ok for them to run around spouting off stereotypes, but god forbid if someone says one about them.

There's a ton of things I look at differently that most poeple. It really does annoy me when I said that I feel 'X' and then get the reply 'that's not true' or 'thats not what you're supposed to think'. How can't it be true? It's my opinion, my thoughts. Why do I have to think the same way everyone else does? I HAVE to be have typical WASP thoughts and life views simply because I happen to be White, of Anglo Saxon decent and Prodestant (well, not practicing)? Because I dont have body piercings or tattoos or dyed hair, I can't think differently? Because I don't conform to the typical non-conformist look, my mind must work "normally"? How does this work? In order to be a non-conformist you must look like a non-conformist? Doesn't this mean that you are conforming to a look/attitude and defeating the goal of being different and yourself?

I know that everyon feels that they are not understood, that no one 'gets' them. I know that everyone wants to be told that they are unique. I know that everyone feels like they are alone. I also know that I've never met someone who really understood me, who I really connected with. I know that I'm tired of feeling alone. I am doing things that don't make me happy. I am tired of having to do things I don't want to do. I am tired of so many things.

I think that's why I feel so old.