"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Meh
August 19, 2009 - 11:35 am

Why did I do it? It's what people do, no? They take a week off here and there... I see it all the time. So, I decided to take one myself.

The thing of it is... a vacation for someone in my situation isn't really a good thing. Two days off a week with next to no contact is enough. Toss in a five day bridge between two pre-set two days off... and it's no good.

I thought I'd come up with something fun to do. I'd go to Six Flags or down to NYC or to the casino... I still might go to the casino Friday. Perhaps. That's just pissing away money.

I shouldn't have done this... bad timing all the way around. Busy time at work... endless, pointless fuckups. On the plus side, I can skim the emails and reply totally at my leisure or not at all. Anything truly bad, I'll get a phone call... and I have gotten a few. That doesn't bother me though.

What I need to do today... is redo my resume. I was ok with this job when it was normal - what I thought normal was. When I had clients who knew what the fuck they were doing... but now, this one client. I don't want anything to do with them. It's like.. they attract mistakes. It's like they don't know what a realistic time frame is... which is key to attracting mistakes.

In a way, I feel like I know what the job finally is like and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I'm left though... what do I like?

I seem to like making bad choices. I seem to relish setting up dominoes and knocking them all over.

I seem to like to avoid doing what I think would make me happy. And.. even when I try to pursue something that would make me happy.. I go about it in such a way to ensure it won't happen.

Yeah... that's right. Back to one of these moods again.