"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Too lazy to think of a title...
May 10, 2009 - 2:57 pm

Really... it is.

Now and then, I look about my place and say, "What else can I get rid of? What else don't I need or use?" There are still lots of little things. Things that ended up on the table.. or counter months ago that sit untouched. I don't need the space... or the item, so there it sits.

Why? Why not?

Still... despite my unintentional intentions a dilemma strikes now and then.

Today... I have one. You see, a couple weeks ago I broke down and mostly out of a feeling that I should ask for one... I did ask to get a blackberry. Nearly everyone else who does what I do has one... and well, part of fitting in appearing to be like everyone else is having all the same stuff -- even if you don't really want it or feel you need it.

I got it a couple days ago... and am now faced with two phone numbers. While it's simple enough to forward my personal number to the BB, the BB, thanks to our anal corporate security, isn't fully functional. So.. no txt messages. I'm not a txting fiend by any means, but it is a nice way to reach out and 'talk' to someone without actually talking to someone.

Do I carry two phones? No, I don't think that's the way to go...

So one phone. Do I keep my personal phone? I think so.. what a pain in the ass it is to update everything to a new number. A fucking nightmare to do that. Slowly... as people call me (haha!) I'll call back on the new number and they'll switch.

Anyway.

I went to a bookstore today.. and just ambled around. I think I'd like to be a writer. I've thought this for ages and ages... but well, I never seem to write of any worthwhile length. I dabble in it. I tell stories in my head, but seldom get them into print.

I thought about sitting on my balcony and writing. Loca prowling the railing... chattering at birds. I'd also need to get a wireless modem (router? gateway? whatever)... so that's two new things to get.

I've debated this before. I'm not sure it's worth the expense.. on the other hand, if I'd actually start writing for real with these things... it's more than worth the expense.

The question is... would I?

My mind wandered to more extreme things... why not get an outdoor rated fridge too? There's out plugs there.. one for the laptop and one for the fridge.

The gremlin voice of reality whispered, "You're suck a tool..."

I left the bookstore.

The voice is right. I'm, in my own head, infamous for buy shite I don't need... despite my above talking about simplifying and having little. Last year I bought the gas grill... I've used it a few times, but still... I don't need it. Even this PC I type on now, I didn't need then... but I got it into my head I wanted a new one and so I got it. Same with my digital camera that hangs pointlessly next to me...

Lately, I've been doing better at fighting the urges. So bully for me. No HD flat screen...

Though I did buy the wii -- haven't played it in weeks. Had visions of inviting people over to play, but that never happened.

Anyway.

Work is pissing me off. I really, truly just want people to be engaged and do their job. That's it. That seems.. far too much to ask.

I've got three emails in my inbox I'm dreading opening. Just fucking dreading. That's my Monday fun.