"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

Rambling on me
November 02, 2008 - 11:50 am

Well, nice isn't the right word... but, simply put, were I to share this place with someone else... we could live like a king/queen. I can afford the bills, but add in another income and we'd have tons of cash to save, for trips.. to buy whatever tickled our fancy. Literally, the 2nd income would be 'play money'.

Of course.. I'm simply not talking about your average roommate. I suppose I've become more that a little jaded on the subject of love and am thinking of the occasional story you hear of a marriage of convenience type situation.

The marriage bit would be totally optional... I don't have that big of an itch.

I'm simply saying two single folks who share income can live pretty fucking good, right?

I've actually been toying with putting something no craigslist to see if anyone replies. Can't quite come up with the wording, but I'll noodle it and we'll see.

Mostly definitely thinking pretty much to the point.

What's the chances of it 'working'? I doubt it.. really, I do.. but well, it's fun to muse and if it never gets posted... I won't know.

In a way it makes me said to really say I've become jaded. But.. I have. The notion of romantic love has, more or less, been beaten out of me. Not a recent happening... more.. of a recent acknowledgment. It would be something I'd dearly like to have, but for everyone who's so lucky to stumble into it.. there must be those who never do.

No doubt a big problem for me has come from the whole issue of trust -- of being told X and believing it. I've simply become too cynical and wait to see the action that doesn't match X and.. when faced with a choice of putting stock in words or actions, I'll pick actions any day.

It's far too easy for people to lie -- a white lie, an untended lie.. a simple fleeting moment of taking the path that looks like the least conflict.

Actions though... actions are harder to fake. You can verbally commit to something, but when it come times to go, or whatever, you find a way to wiggle out. The cheesier the excuse, the bigger the verbal lie becomes.

I've also become more and more... interested in wanting things on my terms.

No doubt I appear batshit crazy to many folks.. and that used to bother me. I used to try and find the path that I thought everyone else would think i would take.

I really hate saying that, but it's true.

It's simply in how I think... what will someone else think if I do something? How silly will I look? How whatever.. and so I shy away from it.