"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

less happy doing it these days
May 31, 2008 - 8:08 am

In somewhat related news, my single biggest frustration... my single largest annoyance... at work is when people say they will do x or y and then don't. A simple way to explain what I do is manage 'matrix partners' towards a deadline. I don't make much new material.. I don't answer much on my own. I collect disparate bits of information and return them to the requester. Sort of. Perhaps that I don't have a better way to describe what I do betrays that I'm not very good it at.

Anyway.. oddly, this has been coming to a head more and more at work. I say oddly because we are far less busy. I didn't have the problems I have now when I was juggling multiple projects. Perhaps the folks are tired... and care less at the end of this selling season. Perhaps I'm tired and care less and aren't setting things up as well. Perhaps the deadlines I'm getting are just shorter as clients are in a rush to make choices.

Herding the cats... drains me. It makes me tired. I want to once, just once, go through a project and get back what I asked for without having to redo things. Without having to shake my head and fix grammar... or send it back and re-ask for what's in the damn form(s) I have to fill out.

I've known for a while that this job really isn't for me. It requires someone who likes to micro-manage. I can do that. I will do that... but not all the time. It sucks the life out of me. Especially since I've no authority over anyone I get info from. To them... I'm just another Sales pain in the ass who's making their day hellish. I don't want to do that.. I try not to do that. But if I ask for M I damn well need to get X back... not an N because it's close and it was found first.

Of course, the more time I have to spend on what other people do, the less I have to spend on what I'm really supposed to be doing.

Never mind all that. I'm just grumpy today.

What else is new?

I used to wonder what people meant by they want to stay close to home/friends when choosing a school -- they wanted access to a support system. I never got that. I never understood.

I do now. I don't have one. In my own way, I'll pretend I do from time to time.. but that's pretending. Am I really done pretending? Of course not, it's what I do. I'm just... less happy doing it these days.