"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

indentured servant
May 14, 2008 - 8:05 pm

I was in MN the last couple of days -- the joys of training. As I like to say, I work for the devil: healthcare. We've a biggish place in MN that focuses on behavioral health... so out we went to learn about the latest and greatest offerings and trends.. and what not.

Why do I bring this up?

One thing we got to do after signing all the appropriate forms was listen to some real calls (complete with permission from the caller of course).

I was shocked, considering the content of the conversations I heard, that folks were ok with an easedropper on the line.

What sort of calls? The lady who called into say she was serious thinking about killing herself -- not that she was going to act on it, but that her thoughts kept going to the topic... or the guy who called in drunk and asked for help getting into rehab... or the lady who called wanting to find a new relationship counselor after her current's (well ex-counselor) only solution was to say she and her bf needed to end it -- that there was no hope and the current refused to even consider any sort of joint session. Struck me as an odd way to go, but then... what do I know of such things?

At some point in the meeting the question came up, what if someone calls in and is really serious about killing him/herself or seems mad enough to actaully hurt someone else? What happens then?

At this point, stop and think about what you do for a living and how you gauge stress in your life. I wonder just well it compares to going to work each and every day knowing you may well quite literally have someone's life in your hands.

The answer to the question is that they have well rehearsed methods for getting attention of co-workers who read the screen for notes and summon police or an ambulance or whatever is needed all while the call taker keeps right on talking or whatever is needed.

It was then said that either twice this year or twice in teh past year (I'm not sure which) twice it's happened that the caller actually shot and killed him/her self.

Again, stop for a minute and consider the ins and outs of what you do... and what constitutes having a bad day at work.

It boggles my mind that not only can these folks willingly and readily deal with such situations... they were happy in what they did. Of course, a large part of that is such tragic and dramatic events are relatively rare and on the 'normal' day what they do is literally help folks. Such were the calls I was on...

Getting the guy into a rehab program -- a guy who seemed to know the drill even though he was drunk. He had a driver ready and waiting to get on the line to hear which place had a bed. No doubt, he had a bag packed and all that.

For me... I suppose it wasn't so much just the nature of the calls that caught my attention, but... just how willing and open these folks were to sharing details.

Of course, if you're calling such a phone number, you're in the state of mind to share. You've probably already done the hardest part... you dialed.

Anyway... what was my point? I'm not sure. My only other comment on trip is I had no idea, none what so ever that a city in MN could have such a nice (and large) airport. Bizarre.

I lied. My final comment on the trip is.. three folks in really 24 hours asked me what I wanted to do next. Three folks all of whom are folks I more or less support.

I don't really have a plan for what to do next, which is fine since I've been in this role for less than two years... but the point isn't my lack of an answer.. it's that three folks asked out of the blue. It's an interesting thing when that comes up. In a way, it's... probably the biggest compliment someone can give another person. Each one is saying, "while you may be good at what you do now, I'm think you should be moving to new role."

In my own way... I'm baffled by this. Pleased to get the question and to have the conversation, but in reality I feel like a fraud. I dispute I'm good at what I do. While I can't dispute I get things done, I'm not so sure they are done the best way or the rightest way. If that makes sense.

In their own way, people seem to enjoy (to a degree) talking to me. I seem to come off as knowing what's what. As... I guess, a confident speaker -- or at least one who doesn't say too many dumb things. Perhaps people like me because I'm willing to ask them about them. To listen to them talk and try to hold a conversation about where ever they take it. I tend to remember odd facts from previous conversations.. and will ask follow-up questions. It's not really that I care, it's simply the only way I have to make small talk.

Anyway. I am quite firmly undecided what to do next. I need more information. I need more financial information. Gone it seems.. are the days of not really caring how much job paid because I couldn't make any less... and here are the days where I've got a mortgage... I've got school loans and all the rest. I now require a certain level of funding simply to meet my obligations.

How sad is that? I've become all the more entrenched as a modern day indentured servant.