"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

a little bundle of joy ain't i?
September 09, 2006 - 8:10 pm

i'm not quite sure what i have to say.

what i do have is an itch to watch 'waiting for godot', only i don't have a copy. the copy i had.. resides (if it still exists) in pennsylvania.. the person who has it, never sent it back and i've never gotten around to buying the collection.

i know this much.. three things are coming in at work that are going to stress me.. three things i'm not at all looking forward too..

1) a class motto -- what the fuck? i'm not in day camp. i don't want to be a chimpmonk. i really feel no need what so ever to get a t-shirt with some stupidily funny (and corporate approved) motto on it. really. i don't. why does this stress me? i'm not sure.. but it does. it's fucking retarded.

2) a final presentation -- totally called for... and, by it's definition, stressful.

3) a skit at our graduation dinner -- again, what the fuck? a skit? i've no idea what the rest of the group has in mind, but they've asked for a video camera.. i really should ask what the deal is. if i'm expected to do something. of course i am.. but i need to find out how to minimize that. a fucking skit done in front of our new bosses.. senior vps of the company.. grrr.. sure, it's funny. if this were college, it'd be called hazing. ok, i exaggerate.. it's not hazing or really that bad. i just thing it's stupid. i'm all for people who like such things doing such things.

which of these bothers me the most? i'm not sure.. but all together, i'm not a happy camper. yes, as i sort of said above, i'm well aware these are trivial things.. and so it is what it is.

in other other news.. i'm sitting here oddly disappointed. i, for reasons.. i'm not quite sure other than i got the itch to check it out a few days ago, bought a colon cleaner.

i really thought about some of the internet only ones that claim wicked nasty results.. and decided, as little as i really know about it.. i like my colon and so something sold by a local store like cvs/gnc/vitamen shoppe would be.. safer.

four pills and several hours later.. i can say i've felt some rumblings, but no results. i was expecting something faster. i'll take more tomorrow.. but perhaps one of the nasty internet ones would be better. in a kind of scary way, some talk about kill parasites too.

i don't think i want those in me.. but that's like 70 bucks. i'm not sure i care that much.

what i do know.. what i'm ever so slowly coming to grips with is.. that none of these things really matters. it all 'is what it is' and that's that.

what do i mean by that? hrm.. i guess it's just a bit of depressive musing... that i'm broken.. that things are pointless and life is just about going through the motions.

a little bundle of joy ain't i?