"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

all i got tonight
March 09, 2006 - 8:28 pm

when someone disagrees with me.. or expresses an opinion contrary to my own.. i don't consider it to be an arguement or even a bad thing. in fact, people have different thoughts and expressing them is good -- it's something about people that makes us special. if everyone agreed, people would suck.

i don't consider someone saying i don't agree with.. whatever conflict.

it's a conversation.. a discussion.. whatever label fits, i don't much care.

what dawned on me is that sometimes other folks take different opinions or someone saying 'i think you're wrong about.. whatever' as a conflict.

perhaps it's just a matter of point of view.. if you expect something to become a conflict, it does. if you have negative thoughts, you take whatever in the worst way -- you fullfil your own expectations. that's human nature too.

anyway. my drives to work are often full of such obvious thoughts. i'm often not sure i'm actaully awake.

perhaps i'm awake, but my mind is off trying to pretend i'm not going where i'm going.

to that end... i've hit something of a nice streak in poker. 50 bucks this past weekend has now turned into.. something over 1,000. yeah. i've withdrawn 600 and have 700 in my account. i'm soon to withdraw 200 more.

that's rent payment.

that's full blown delusion that i can make 1,000 a week. that's more than i make now. that's me playing poker for a living.

remember, i said delusional.

the allure is there.. if i can actaully do it for a month.. perhaps... just perhaps.

a dream lifestyle.. get up whenever. play.. eat.. do what i want to do. so far i've made the money (mostly the last two nights) playing from about 5:30 to 9:00.. not too shabby.

i've worked out all the numbers in my head. though i don't know how taxes would work.. all the sweeter if i avoided those.. but no, i'd pay. i'm a dork that way.

anyway. that's all i got tonight.