"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

day 1
January 01, 2006 - 11:03 am

i find that the when my head is a mess, my apartment is too.. one reflects the other. perhaps there's some causal relationship, i don't know.

perhaps when i'm feeling down i put off cleaning things up.. and then when i see something of a mess i feel worse.. and put off doing more stuff -- one reinforces the other.

my knee hurts. it hurts a good deal of the time. one specific spot.. there's no bump or bruise or anything.

my digestive system has been.. in a minor revolt. i've no idea why. i don't recall any change in my diet.. save over xmass i ate much better than i usually do.. i've eaten more candy. things seem better today, so i'm not worried about that. i did spend some time on webmd though researching things.
on a lark, i played in this play money tourny yesterday. yeah, three hours i wasted on that. finished in the top 60 outta 5,000 after getting tired of playing just started going all in a coupla hands in a row. it was sort of funny, the first time.. everyone thought i had something good. the second time, one caller.. who beat me. and the last, everyone was like "woo! free chips! call this fool!" that's all right.

i need to find a hat. a nice hat. i call it a driving hat or a mcduff hat. i've no idea why. i think it's realy called a newsie type hat. it's irish i think. i like those hats.

i lack the ability to focus.. and from this, i feel, all my other problems stem. in an effort to remedy this, i think i'm going to try and get myself to play the latest and greatest numbers game.. soduko or however it's spelled. it's simple. it's focus/logic based.

i've seen the review for that movie Hostel.. and i dunno. it just makes me think 'why does violence for violence sake entertain us so?'

i don't bregrudge those who want to see it or those who made it.. i just lament it's existence. to each their own. human nature i suppose... we must continually push boundries. what once was shocking is now common place and we need to be shocked it seems.

i'm looking forward to eating chicken wings (legs actaully) while listening to football. sadly, i'm going to have to do the nfl radio pass thing. sort of irks me that radio is free, but they black out nfl games (unless a internet broadcasting station screws up and doesn't turn off the broadcast). i've nothing else to do today.