"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

shit or get off the pot
January 17, 2005 - 12:55 am

the movie was good, but the time crappy.. she showed up late and we went right into the movie, no real time to talk. then laughed and enjoyed the movie, but on the way out she said she was going to go shopping.. at some store. i said i'd walk around with her for a bit, but she was like, well i'm going to go to this store.. which i took to mean she was simply fishing for an easy way to dump me. fair enough.. but i mean, i dunno.

the dinner party went better.

still.. i left.. with this numb/empty feeling.

of course, i've rather grown use to feeling like this.. i'm not sure why, but it seems to weigh on me more -- if feeling empty can "weigh" on someone..

i'm actaully a point where i want to get into a converstation about this.. but i'm loath to bring it up to someone new.. and anyone "old" who knows i don't talk to anymore. there's one new person i'm considering talking to about things -- this comes from reading some things they've written and knowing we are in similair spots..

however, i'm not at all sure it's a worthwhile thing to do.

perhaps what i need to is some research on ways and means. i suppose one must either "shit or get off the pot".