"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

class and poker
September 06, 2004 - 10:39 am

i'm simply not 'into' school right now. i don't have the drive to work 20 hours and take 13 grad credits.

the issue is really.. what do i want to do after i graduate? the latest will be in the summer and the earliest in may. though, with dropping this class, i'd have to take 13 credits in may -- putting me in the same boat as now. this means, with a very high degree of probability, i'll be graduating in the summer.

last night, i was doing wicked good in poker. played in a tourny, just $3 to enter and you get 1,500 chips. top forty some places qualified for a serious tourny that costs over a 100 bucks to get into.

anyway, i was crusing along, making it to the first break and staying pretty much in the top 50%, some 800 people were playing. i was quite pleased with myself, making good choices and, most importantly, not letting myself lose big.

that, of course, is the name of the game - don't lose big. win whatever you can, just don't lose a big hand.

so, anyway, i'm sitting at the table and next to me is the chip leader of the tourny. i'm in something like 250th.

what do i do? on the river, i make my two pair. on the table is an ace, 2, 3, 4 and 6. i've got a aces and sixes. only people left are me and mister chip leader. the smart thing would have been to fold, since if he's still hanging around he must have _something_, but i'm betting he just has a pair of aces. so i decide to try and push him out by going all in. he calls. he has a pair of fives. i lose. i lose all my chips.

why did i lose? not because i went up against the chip leader, i'd have lost that hand to anyone. i lost because i wasn't sure i had the best hand, but thought i might and bet poorly.

it's one thing to know you don't have the hand won and bluff, but you can't bluff going all in too many times. i'd convinced myself there was no way he could have a five, and really he didn't have a five - he had two fives, so i guess i was sorta right.

i was quite stunned. i went from sitting in upper 25% to finishing 445.

but, hey.. for three bucks i got to play some 89 hands in a little over an hour and get some reinforcement to the idea that it isn't luck that wins in poker, it's good decision making. i shoulda known by how he was betting that he had something and folded.

that's the cool thing about poker. there's not a single thing to blame other than yourself when you lose. sure, there's some chance in the cards, but everyone faces that same amount of chance and it's no fluke you see lots and lots of the same people at final tables when you watch poker on tv.

there is a method to the madness.

anyway, i'm going to go make what i hope will be a good choice and drop my finance class. then, i gotta email the group i was in for the class and let them know.

yeah, i'm addicted to poker.. but i want it to help teach me to choose better. a tool of self-improvement