"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

tired of being tired
March 16, 2004 - 1:01 pm

i was walking back to the apartment today and, as had happened on several occasions recently, it was like i was walking in a movie.

hard to explain, but it was like i wasn't actaully there.. much like if i were watching the tv and the seeing through some actors eyes as he walked down a street.

at first it a bit disconcerting, but not really.

i'm skipping class today. just don't feel like sitting there for 75 minutes and listening to a guy read powerpoint slides. i can download and read them on my own - only i know i want.

none of my classes hold any real interest. this disheartens me greatly.

what gives me the greatest joy? i'm not sure. i think i'm coming to terms with the idea that i'm past finding joy.

mostly, i'm just tired of being tired.

oddly, it feels good to be coming to terms with that. i suppose it's the first step in understanding myself.