"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

same old shit
September 07, 2003 - 9:23 pm

movies on tv such. the lop off part of the film to make it fit the square tv screen and then put in all commercials.. and lop out other parts of the film to make it run in a given time or for content or whatever.

yeah, i guess i'm in a complaining mood.

anyway, i'm watching the movie and look down at my legs. the thought strikes my head that.. how could it be that those are my legs?

i mean, here i am.. this sort of nebulous voice inside a head - right?

are we really like computers? hardware and software? is what really makes me me the brain cells inside my head of the abstract 'me' of what i think and feel?

i don't think the movie had anything to do with such thoughts.

lately i've been thinking a lot about morals - are they universal or just a human made ideal?

i think i lean towards human made.. yet, we speak of them like they would exist without us.

do lions debate the virtues of killing?

what about a black widow spider when she eats her mate?

as humans, do we spend our lives trying to live up to some ideal that isn't really there? are we victims of trying or our own minds?

i could, and probably should, lay out my thinking on this.. to make it clearer what i'm saying, but, to be honest, i'm not interested in doing that.

living with two religious people, who really arn't religious, so they say.. though they like to bring up religion almost every other day.. i'm totally not interested in trying to layout my way of thinking.

yeah, i'm cynical, bitter and complainy tonight.

what bothers me the most.. is that the 'troubles' i have are still here. i'm not sure what to do to get things straight - or even if it's possible to.

it really is like i am of two minds on things.. and can't settle anything, which leaves me in a shitty place that i don't want to be in.

oh well, the same old shit i guess.