"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

a thought that chills me
August 09, 2003 - 2:40 pm

it's like i can step back and see the world from the point of view of an unbiased and uninterested observer.

it's like my eyes are unblinded.

those moments are fleeting, the briefest of camera flutters.

the rest of the time, i've left with this lingering impression that something, everything, is horribly wrong and i don't know why. it's like i'm playing a game but the rule book i was given is wrong. i can't recognize anything.

the most stunning realiztation i get in those moments of lucidity is the regardless of what's right or wrong, the world turns as it turns. in truth, there is no right and wrong - these are but human made ideas. nothing else in nature could grasp such an abstract concept - and even if they could, why would anything want to?

it's funny, sadly funny.. pathetically funny really. the way humans operate.

so much of what we consider important is in all honestly pointless. we wish to be free, but strive to create no technologies.. we don't grasp that technology is the foe of freedom.

everything about my life is now tracked by various databases. name, age, social security number, credit history, where i live, any detail worth knowing is online. if there's one database to rule them all (to borrow from tolkien), then who runs that database runs me.

we are slaves to our jobs, sure we can quit one, but must take another to meet our bills. what's the difference? we are indentured servents.

more and more corporations control the political process. sure the 'people' vote, but look at the money that must be raised and spent for a successul campaign! those who are bankrolled run, and we pick from them! it doesn't much matter who we pick, they are firmly in the pocket of one coporation or another.

hell, until 1997 we supported the taliban in afganistan! why? american companies had lots of interest in the oil there!

our schools don't teach the things we need to know. we are ignorant of the true history. we learn only the 'good' things about 'great' figures in our history. we are ignorant of our own politcal system and monetary system. we don't understand the most basic of things that we should in order to operate intelligently in this world.

we are sheep. the shepards lead us. we are sheep. we baa and fret, but the shepards continue to wear robes of the finest wool and dine on fat steaks of mutton.

in both my moments of clarity and my usual status of bewilderment.. i am faced with one same thought.

a thought that chills me.