"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

memories in the trash
March 08, 2003 - 5:06 pm

i just went through my closets (all two of them). i found lots of things from my past. letters and such from people.. that to be honest i don't recall anymore.

once upon a time, i wrote letters to people..pen pals as it were. most of them i met off the net. there were letters and pictures.

i only recalled a few. that makes it sound like there were scores, but no.. i recall one or two.

i wonder where they are now. i wonder what happened that we stopped talking? i wonder if they ever think of me.. i wonder if they still have the letters i wrote..

if you'd have said any of thier names to me yesterday i'd have sworn i'd never heard of them. if you'd have shown me a picture i'd have sworn i'd never seen them.

memory is faulty. memory is, at best, an interptation of events - not a record - and certainly not lasting.

on one level it bothers me that i forgot all about them. it bothers me that at the time we were 'good enough' friends to send letters. now.. we are nothing. years go by..

they were all 'online' friends. mostly looking at these letters reminds me why i'm so not very interested in having just online friendships. i know i have some now, but know that one day.. with no reason or rhyme they can disappear.

i'm not quite sure what i'm trying to say, or if i'm trying to say anything at all.

anyway, i'm throwing all that stuff away. in a few days i probably won't even recall what it was it threw out.