"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

is there a difference
June 02, 2002 - 10:41 pm

i like that when you don't want anyone to find you...you just change a nick and you're someone else. i like that with a click and a few keystrokes, you're a whole new person. you can be anyone you want. men can be women. women can be men. gender is really irrelevant. age. race. anything that makes the real you you doesn't matter. you can be anyone you want to be. you can have any history made up for yourself.

or you just disconnect. one click in a little x box and you're gone. it's like you ceased to exist. in a way you do. i could go into some irc chat room and be whoever i want. i can make friends and then i'm gone. no one knows for sure if i'm coming back. no one knows, and for the most part don't care, if i was who i said i was.

perhaps i shouldn't say i like that about the net. it's really a trap. time passes by faster online. or so it seems. delusions are fed and new ones created.

in truth, now that i pause to think, i'd be a very different person if i didn't use the internet. if it didn't exist. i would not be me. which is odd because i don't really know who i am anyway. perhaps that's the problem. i've so many identities in my head from here...that the real me is gone or never really developed.

perhaps i should be kraven no more. i've been him for so long. perhaps it's time that he passes on. i do have a new name in mind. a new me.

the thing is. until and unless i post here again. you'll probably never really know. i could be in a car accident tomorrow and never log on again or i could decide while i sleep that kraven should be no more.

is there a difference? either way, kraven dies, no?

i don't ever want to feel like i did that day. take me to the place i love.