"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

its wednesday not monday
April 03, 2002 - 6:00 pm

i'm liking the supermarket salads more and more. i imagine they are probably pretty bad for you in the sense that people sneeze and puke and whatever in them. all that just adds flavoring in my opinion. i have faith in my digestive and immune system.

oh hey. i did get some good news. i got a guestbook thingie by someone called celtic something. it's a double good thing. i like getting signings and i like the word celtic =)

i'm not celtic, but scottish and german and english and german...a sort of nortwestern europe/anglo saxon mutt kinda fella.

i got very, very angry at work today. i think i'm just preparing myself for when i quit. though i don't see why my customers hold me to a certian standard, why i can't hold my warehouse to that same standard.

did i ever mention what i'm reading now? it's stranger in a strange land. i like it alot. i need to set aside some serious reading time instead of the 10-15 minutes in the morning. i'd probably have read the book in two sittings if i didn't do those short blurbs.

today is wednesday. i thought it was monday most of today. today is frozen pizza day. i'm torn though. i'm eating my salad now...and the pizza i'd have later. i don't need to eat this much food, but i like both. i need to find a smaller pizza to eat.

i still havn't cleaned up any of the garbage in here.

i still havn't done any laundry. don't worry though. i have a slightly wrinkled shirt now hanging in my bathroom. the steam from tomorrows shower will make it wearable. if not, i bought some of that downy wrinkle releaser stuff a while ago. it works well enough.

still no definite information on northwest erie. this situation is taking far to long to fully develope. i can't it along though, it's at something of an impass at the moment.

i did realize that moving there would put me into some radically different social positions. i'd go from zero social life to expected to hang out with multiple people overnight. i'd go from only five people (counting family) to see the inside of my apartment in 2.5 years to five or more people at a time...well if it's that big. that's a big jump.

the move also puts me in the middle of a possibly "explosive" situation with my friend whose helping me get the job. her name is laura and i've known her since i went started school there some six years ago. might be seven. i'm not sure. she's married now and is freshly (is that the word?) pregnant. i know both her and her hubby from college. i knew her before she knew him. i knew her when her relationship with the father of her first child was ending. she went to school as a single mom and part of a pretty active social organization...pretty stressful stuff. anyway, she was the first person i became friends with outside of the dorm and she got me to join the same social organization. in short, her and i have some history. she wanted us to be a couple in a the very serious sense of the word. i didn't know much then and know arguably less now...but i knew that i was in no shape for the type of relationship she wanted and to her dismay held my ground. we've remained very good friends, but just friends nonetheless. she then started dating josh, her current hubby. there's a lot of history that becomes convoluted and i won't bore you with it.

in short (too late i know), the explosive part is that i've never quite been sure how josh feels about me. he only had to deal with my friendship with laura when they were dating and for a short time...just a few months than she graduated school and i left three months later. i have no idea what he really thinks of the idea of me back in town, though i have no desire to rock boat in his marriage. i know laura still likes me. i saw that when i was there. i hate to say it, but i really think she likes josh, but married him cause she wanted to be married. i hope i'm wrong. it was just in the way i saw her look at me once or twice. i'm not at all worried i'd fool around with her, i like her as a friend and nothing more. i wonder about the whole man-to-man dymanic that josh and i would have.

it's an interesting situation that i probably didn't describe very well and definitely not in enough detial for you to grasp. it's just what i'm thinking.

i hope the west wing is new one tonight.

i think i should post before i lose another long entry.

oh, the summary of my trip to there..is probably never to be post. i typed i once and lost it...i do hate retyping things.