"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

book
January 26, 2002 - 2:43 pm

heh.

so, i'm here and i said what can i do? well, that's not exactly what i said. since there's many many things i can do and should do. what i really said is what am i actually going to do? i thought perhaps i'd post something meaningful on here. then i realize what a joke that is.

that's why i started writing here. i used to talk to this girl and she would tell me all sorts of personal things about herself when we'd talk on the phone. i was never quite able to match her at being so honest on the phone..so i started writing here...

the last email i got from her was her telling me how lucky i was to live in stamford since the 'swing dancing championships' were going to be here. that was the whole email. i wrote back asking if she going to come to watch or dance and how things were...ect. no reply. it's been months and months since then. the last email before that from her was in...uhm..Feb? that sounds right. in short, even though i told her the address..and why i was doing it. i don't think she ever bothered to read here. it just sort of grew from there.

i'm normally a very, very private person. my world is my world and unless you're invited in, you don't to know what i know, what i think, what i see.

goddamn something smells bad in trash can. there's not much in there. must be the nectorine thing. it's only been in the trash for like 3 hours.

anyway.

i dunno.

i'm still very private. you don't get to read all that much. i choose to censor lots of things that should go in here. this isn't really a diary anymore, it's more like an editorial webpage. it's what i think..not as much about my day and what i feel...if you catch the differnce. i do.

this place, in it's original intent, was been a stunning failure that should have ended long, long ago. it didn't cause...i have no life and use posting here as something to do. i count this as a positive use of my time.

i've tried to use here other times to express myself to certian people and well...that's failed too.

heh, winamp is now playing 'i do not want this' by nin, talk about ironic.

i'm just a dissatisfied person. i wonder where the 'feedback card' for life is? boy do i have comments for that!

blah, i think i'll go read a book and pretend i'm there and not here.