"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

two things
January 06, 2002 - 7:37 pm

(in no order)

1) the third non-family person in two years just left my apartment.

2) my fantasy football team is up (i believe) 52 to 32 and all their players are done.

what do these two things mean?

well, it looks like, but my unofficial tally, that we stomped them and i'm going to get a nice little check...which of course i'm going to blow on tv that actaully has a remote. i'm happy about that, but i'm wondering if i should find a better source for that cash. i do have the chance the first week of march to go to disney world and get into the park at half price. i really, really want to do that. talk about a real vacation, but doing that alone, even for me, is too depressing an idea.

then there's the whole someone was here deal. how pathetic does that sound that only three non-family (even with family it would be the fifth person) have been here in two years? should i toss in that the first person was only here one day and that was to help me move in? that's gotta rank pretty high on the dork scale. anyway, i really liked that she came down. i'm so far out of touch with dating (dating? hell, i can't even seem to get the hang of just platonic friendships). i think it was a very nice night...but i can't read signals. i don't even know if a signal is being sent. i did bring up the florida deal with her, but that's a pretty big leap for us. i mean, that's spending a week in the same hotel room (same bed or would we get two doubles?) and every day together. i think we'd have a really good time, but...that's a heck of a jump in relationship terms. we havn't even held hands yet....

ok, i sound like some high school dork huh? oh well, perhaps that's where i am relationship wise. it's been so long, i've regressed to the very begining. i feel the urge to pass a note...but i forget how to fold em.

i can't wait to get the check in my account. talk about money burning a hole in your pocket...

i wonder if she's going to be a repeat vistor or another one stopper. wow, that idea sucks. i don't like that one at all. i want repeat vists.

should i mention that she reads here? should i mention how tempted i am to delete all this as it just dawned on me that she's going to read this?

on the other hand, it's what i'm thinking. they say communication is good and honest communication is ever better.

i got some career books. i need to read them and figure myself out. all of my career problems go back to myself and never 'applying myself' and making the choice on what i want to be. i've had a goodish run at just floundering this way and that, but i think it's time (hell, i'm 25) to decide what i'm going to be.

it's odd isn't it. it's odd that what we do is such a large part of who we are. what we do becomes part of our identity. it becomes such a large part that when some people lose thier jobs, they go insane.

i think i scared her a bit with some of my books. see, there's this really funny (wickedly funny) comic strip book called Red Meat that she read some strips of and then there's an even more...uhm distrubingly funny book called The Gashlycrumb Tinies.

did i mention i really had a good time tonight? did i mention i want to do it (or something else) again soon? i think if not...well i just did.

g'night.