"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

jumbled
January 04, 2002 - 5:47 pm

i meant to talk jeff today about going to buffalo and that i want a new job.

i got an xmass present from my brother and his wife, shipped on the 28th. just a tad late, eh?

i didn't talk to jeff, but i had sent a few emails jokingly refering to buffalo, sort of preping him. i meant to stay late just long enough so he and i'd be alone in the office and i'd ask him then.

it's a nicish gift i guess. it's a stone pizza cooking board thing. i think it goes in the oven and is supposed to cook the curst nice and evenly.

jeff had a rough day at work, so i made some jokes about him wanting to go back to buffalo, which everyone in the office thought i meant back home...but i really meant him and i leave this company and go to work for his old company. he laughed, but i think he got what i meant.

did i ever mention that my oven, the gas oven part of my stove, doesn't work and i have an electric toaster oven that i 'bake' things in.

instead after work we stood in the freezing parking garage talking about the office and who should be fired and what kind of person the place needs. i feel bad for him. he really thinks i rock, but i don't. i'm just smart enough to hide my problems or to fix them without telling him. perhaps i'm just luckier than the rest. i dunno. we do need big changes.

anyone nearish stamford want a job in sales? i might be able to hook you up.

i took my first tiny steps last night into the world of career counseling. i think i liked the sound of 'investigative' jobs best.

the pizza stone thing won't fit in my toaster oven.

i need to do more career type work. perhaps even by some books or mebbe you could mail me some.

i'm debating on my thoughts of the office minus one person and having someone new, if i want to deal with another newbie in the office. it's not that i don't like training and helping people, i do. that's one thing i definitly like to do, helpin people. it's that what if this new person that i divert my time and energy towards...sucks? what if it's just a waste of my time.

i'm not sure if there's any job that's really good for me. i get annoyed with little things so easy sometimes. i want something that isn't the same old thing every damn day, but also has enough varity in it to keep my attention.

my slippers toast my toes nicely.

i'm not at all sure what i'm going to eat for dinner.

i can't wait to see this guy's face when he gets shit canned. not that i want to see anyone get fired..well ok, i do. i'm mean and horrible and whatever. he needs not to be in the office. he has the longest time with the company and knows about the least. survial of the fittest. if it becomes so determined that i suck, then i should go.

i hate this whole mentality that people get about 'whose fault' things are. like that deal with cleveland and the beer bottles. there's people who say the fans arn't at fault for tossing the beer at the refs, that it's really the ref's fault for making a bad call. i say take that so called logic a step further and it's really the players fault for not clearly catching the ball or looking like he stepped out of bounds (or whatever it was in cleveland). clearly if the players had done their jobs better then the ref wouldn't have been forced to make a call. perhaps it's the stadium fault for selling beer? is the the beer companies fault for making the plastic bottles? i mean if they didn't have the bottles that the company made and the stadium sold...they couldnt have thrown them could they?

whatever, a person threw a bottle of beer. that's who fault it is. they decided to chuck a bottle at someone, perhaps not with the intent to really hurt, but still..(its a fucking bottle full of beer...did you think it was going to feel good?) they chose to throw it. no one made them. they did had the thought, they acted on it.

the same goes with anything. it's a cartoon's fault that a kid hits another kid with a hammer. it's a movies fault the kids were drag racing cars.

think about it, we need directions on bags that say 'do not place over head' or 'keep away from infants'. that means someone sued the company after a someone sufficated by 'accident' with the bag. it's a fucking _plastic_ bag someone put over their head.

i say, they are my actions and therefore, since they are my actions, they are the result of my thoughts and am i responsible. i can try to explain why i thought what i thought and did what i did. i can try to help you understand my so called rational, but it's my fault. i threw the beer bottle. i hit my brother with the hammer.

everyone today is all about it's not my fault. i can't be to blame so-and-so should be at fault! it's society! it's the culture! i saw it on tv!

i wonder if the pizza stone thing really works? id use it if my oven worked.

did i finish my thought? i dunno if i did.

i say, he sucks and therefore he needs to go.

i say, if you do it...you need to stand up and say, 'i did it.'

i say, i say...i say...i say...

blah, i say, people are to into just wanting things now and not being to blame for anything...not having any sort of responsiblity....

*tap* *tap*

is this thing even on? is anyone even there?