"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

pretty big dork
2001-12-15 - 2:46 pm

i think i'm learning, slowly but surely. i think i'm learning that anything i really want, i won't get. either someone else blocks it or i sabatage it. more often than not, a bit of both i think.

i don't understand why i say and do things i shouldn't do. or why others seem to have this agenda not to let me get what i want. i find it hard to fathom that it's a conscience thing, some kinda of conspiracy against me. as if i'm 'worthy' enough for a conspiracy to form against me. it's merely the way things work out. a quirk of fate.

it's like i take all the wrong things and people serious. that i see more in what's going on then they do. OR i don't take things seriously enough and they think i don't care since i'm not being serious. i think it's cause i relate to too many people over the net. i don't have enough (any really) in person friendships. over the net, it's impossible to really know what someone means or what kind of mood the are in. all you have is words, no tone...no inflection, no nothing else.

i'm a pretty big dork huh?

oh, i'm not to sure what i wrote last night. i think i posted twice, but i was pretty drunk for the second one. i should probably go read that and see what i said, but i won't.