"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." -- unknown

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results - Albert Einstein

home again
2001-11-25 - 7:56 pm

actaully, i'm not at all sure what i'm going to write. i've driven something like 24 hours in the past four days and did a lot of thinking. no two thoughts came out the same. i thought as though i were writing here. sometimes it was all happy stuff and then it would be the exact oppisite. one moment i'm cool with an idea and the next i can't stand the thought of it.

i think i finally did decide a thing or two. i definitly want to quit my job. i don't want to go back next monday. i thought a lot about becoming a truck driver, but i dunno that i'd like driving a big ass truck all the time. i think i'm going to start making choices based on a new criteria.

see, i'ma pretty unhappy camper most days. the only thing i can see to do is to do what will make me happy now. i can't base things on the past, that's over and isn't the same as then. i can't base things on what i think the future will be, i'm no prophet and probably damn near 100% wrong. the only think i can do is to say these are my options and i think i feel good about this 'one'.

i think the fatalistic side in me is winning out. i like the idea that if you give things a chance to work out, they might. that if it's meant to be, it will become and if it's not then you just need to move along to what is.

did that make sense? i am tired. i think i did.

i heard peaceful world by john mellencamp about a hundered times while driving. it's amazing what songs are still in rotation in someplaces, but more on that later or mabye not. anyway, i like these lines from that song:

These are just words and words are okay

It's what you do and not what you say

If you're not part of the future then get out of way

ok enough yawning, i go beddy-bye